[PRINXIETY] Shine and Be Mine

|17|

[TW: abuse/harm]

Since I was little...everything seemed to be...out to get me...

***

Virgil grinned up at his dad who grinned down at him.

"Hey there, little stinker!" He bent down to pick up Virgil, "Happy fourth birthday, Virgy!"

Virgil giggled, "Mhm papa!" He held up four fingers.

"Hey, Kate! Come look at this!" Virgil's father laughed as Kate, Virgil's mother, came in.

"Well, our little boy can count!" She smiled lovingly at her son.

Virgil could hardly remember this memory...but it was the fondest he had of his parents...it got worse, however.

All Virgil could see right now was darkness, the last waking memory of his was Roman holding him...

Virgil looked around at his surroundings; everything was dark, pitch-black to be specific, other than himself, he seemed to be at a light that was of normal room lighting...he was able to- see his memories though? He frowned, thinking about that moment, his fourth birthday...the chaos...he was only four...it went well and then- oh god, the fighting...

***

Virgil wailed in the corner of his bedroom as his mom became to scream at his father, Virgil hardly understood what was going on, only that he had started crying and now his parents were arguing over who made him cry, which made him cry harder, and harder, until he could hardly breath, and he fell onto his side, pounding his fists on the ground and screaming.

Virgil's father came rushing over and scooped the four-year-old up, yelling a final sentence to Kate before rushing to his room and rocking Virgil back and forth, but not soon before Virgil's mom came in screaming and pushed Virgil's father back, grabbing Virgil by the wrist and dragging him away, causing Virgil to cry even more.

The memory faded and Virgil felt like he was going to vomit; he had heard of lucid dreaming but this- this was fucking sick.

Virgil fell to his knees and began to shake, just before another memory came, this one far worse and more memorable.

"Ready for school then?" Virgil's mom smiled shakily at him, her teeth holding a cigarette that was freshly lighted.

Virgil fiddled with the hem of his white polo shirt, "Hey mom?"

"Yes, sweetie?" Virgil's mom took in a deep breath of the cigarette and puffed it out over his head.

"C-could you not smoke in my room?" Virgil stuttered.

"Young man, is that attitude?" The woman glared.

"N-not at all!" Virgil squeaked.

"Good," She let out another puff before placing the cigarette in between her index and middle finger, "Because this is my house and- you're twelve, right?"

Virgil nodded.

"In less than a year you'll be in middle school and you'll be offered smokes plenty of times a day, get used to it now."

"I- don't really want to..." Virgil looked at his feet.

"What are you, gay?" Virgil's mom scoffed.

Virgil's face went read, "I'm yeah but-"

"Holy shit."

Virgil looked up at his mom with wide eyes, "M-Mom?"

"You serious?"

Virgil nodded.

There was a long silence.

"Give me your arm."

"What?" Virgil trembled.

"Give me. Your arm."

Virgil shook his head.

"God damn it!" She grabbed Virgil's arm and pressed the lit end of the cigarette into it deep, causing the boy to scream out in agony as his skin broke and scarred.

Virgil began to weep out in his dream-state, "I-I wanna' wake up- I wanna' wake up- I want my jacket- I want my home- I want my leg- I want- I need Roman-" Virgil sobbed out. However, at that, came a different memory.

Virgil began to scream as he felt a needle inject into his leg, he looked up helplessly at Roman, just seeing him made his heart melt.

There were mumbled sounds as Virgil shifted in and out of consciousness as he couldn't hear Roman, and the memory repeated, but this time he could hear.

"...I think I'm gay for you."

Virgil's eyes widened as the memory ended and he was left with- his face was growing hot- and- he could feel it and-
***

Roman woke up to the sound of Virgil's heart monitor beeping quickly and he hazily saw that the wavy lines were spiking, prompting him to leap up before he realized the cause was because Virgil was awake.

"Hey," Roman smiled sheepishly.

Virgil looked directly at Roman, "I-" Virgil wanted to talk to Roman about...what he had heard, however, instead he went to something else, "Tom did it."