Cougar Love - Sequel to Cougar Boss

Chapter 6

But none of it mattered now, and I wasn't sure where that left my relationship with Amelia. They were two different scopes on a collision course. I'd given up everything in my life so fast to be part of Amelia's, I'd never thought I'd get back here. It had been easy because I'd not had anything holding me back, but I wondered if situations were reversed, would Amelia have done the same for me?

Would I have done the same for her? Would I have hired a private investigator to go digging into her life? Would I have invaded her privacy in such a manner?

If it had been innocent and she'd done it to know if she could trust me in her house or in my job, why not tell me when we'd gotten better acquainted? Why did it feel like she'd kept it a secret on purpose? And after finding out what she had, why had she held onto the file? Or left it so carelessly lying around?

I couldn't wrap my mind around it. I'd thought the whole time she'd wanted to know me. Turns out she had from day one. I resented how money and power could make one feel like they could do just about anything and get away with it.

Amelia had always been so humble and generous. I'd never pictured her digging up dirt on me. And if it had been for the reasons she'd stated, the personal information on that file had been none of her business.

I thought about it all night and fell asleep clutching a pillow to my chest for warmth.

Unable to face the day and unsure of how to proceed, I cancelled all my meetings the following morning. I was defeated, and didn't know what step to take next. I didn't want to go back to the penthouse because I wasn't ready to face Amelia and I wasn't even sure I wanted to be part of the conversation that would have to take place between us.

She'd mentioned Jonah's discomfort with us and had hoped he'd come around. Since clearly that wasn't going to happen, I wondered what she'd say.

"I'm sorry, but I don't want to complicate my relationship with my son, so I have to give into his demands. I'll find you another position."

God, the image failed to form in my head because I couldn't picture Amelia being a pushover. She was a force, by far the most powerful I'd ever come across. But what I thought about her in the long run meant nothing if it came time for her to choose. And I had no intention of ever putting her in that position.

I could find another job, but I couldn't find another Amelia. She was the source of my happiness. Still, I felt disgraced being kicked out of Price Healthcare like I was nothing, like I had no right to be there.

It was embarrassing to know that outside my life with Amelia, I'd had no other plan all along. God, I wished Rex could be here. He'd always known how to make me feel better. He must've already taken off on his trip by now. I hoped he was having a far much better time than I was.

Adrianna was a perfect match for him, and maybe if she could overcome the difficulties with her family, she could find a way to be happy with Rex. I hoped he'd have it easier because the Gallagher family was anything but.

Amelia was going through too much as well, and I still didn't want to burden her. So what would anyone in my situation do? Go back to her and patiently wait for things to get better? Was that even possible?

She'd gone back to the mansion for some time and I'd felt empty without her. I'd always been strong for her, why couldn't I be strong for myself? I couldn't even bring myself to go to the hospital and get the surgery. What was wrong with me? Was I only strong when Amelia was in the picture?

After we finally got together, I never saw myself back there pining for her in any one of my lifetimes. Yet here I was. Were things ever going to change? Was there an instance ever, when she and I would have a candid life together or was it all wishful thinking on both our parts?