Dear World... for the #Love,Simon Contest

Intro to Me

Hello Wattpad,

I am just a regular-schmegular girl from the West Coast. 

I like sushi, green tea and long walks on the beach straight into the bottom of the ocean.

If I'm not updating my Vibes Playlist then I'm watching Avatar the Last Airbender/ Legend of Korra or making music on my ukulele, guitar, or piano.

I will not even front and say I've read the book because I have not and I read religiously. Somehow, Simon vs. the Homo Sapiens Agenda slipped under my nose. Lord knows how that happens.

The simple truth to why I instantly connected with the Love, Simon trailer is because no one knows I'm gay either. 

The truth is: I fell in love with a transgender boy when I was in middle school. He was the sweetest, smartest, most talented person I've ever met and the best but most heartbreaking relationship I've had. My innocent self had no idea he was trans. Two weeks into our relationship he realized my obliviousness and 'came out' to me. I spent the night recalling how I've spent my entire life thinking of love. Heterosexual love. Then, I thought of him. To this day, I have never met someone who craved to know me intimately on a mental, emotional, spiritual and sexual level as fervently as he did. Upon realizing that I LOVED him regardless of what was in his pants, I was filled with an enormous fear. (There is heterosexual privilege because straight people never feel that fear and I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy.) Being a gay woman of color with minister parents opened up a can of worms I wasn't ready to face. I tried to 'come out' and when they sensed where it was going, my sexuality became a 'phase' and my relationship sank like the Titanic because my boyfriend argued constantly about it. I remember my rebuttal was always that he was crazy to think I could be like him and get kicked out for my sexuality.  I could keep it on the hush till I was an adult and we would live happily ever after. That didn't work for him and it's how I ended up watching him leave to Portland without ever telling him I loved him.

The thing I was afraid to admit is: He was fearless. I was not. He was proud of who he was. I was not. 

One day, I came to terms with this and I realized that I lost the most precious of Earth's creatures to my own petty fear of being different. I've become tired of being a label, a taboo, a sin. People ask why we need 'another gay romance movie' like Love, Simon. We will always need 'another gay romance movie' until we stop referring to them as 'another gay romance movie' and just call it a romance. Gay love isn't different from straight love. Love is love, in all its forms and combinations. Love is unconditional. Love is fearless.  Love is oblivious to gender, race, age, religious affiliation, etc. I will always put 'come out' in quotes because alone, it makes an admission of love become wrapped up in a miasma of guilt. This guilt, this shame from ignorant societal views is the reason why there even is a 'closet' in the first place. 

All I'm hoping to do regardless of winning, is to help people see love as it is. If we continue like this, true pride, true freedom will never come. It will always be the illusion it is right now. 

Anywhore, yeah...#LetLoveBeAndBeLoved in 2018. Leave that pseudo-acceptance in 2017. 

Who knows? Maybe one day we won't even need to use LGBTQ+ terms....we'll just be people.

LOVE,

audioadrenalinexx

P.S. Shoutout EDEN for making the soundtracks to my high school years. Give him a listen.