A Parallel Universe

Part 4: "all things soft and beautiful and bright would be buried with her."

Too soon, stormtroopers spilt into the town and Ahsoka was sure what she would have to do.

Ahsoka strutted into the clutches of the dastardly Empire. Her hands wavered over her lightsabers. 

"I will surrender. If you promise to leave the people of Lurin out of these matters. Let them be."

The probable commander stepped out into a clearing.

"We will keep your meagre people alive. Now surrender, Jedi."

Ahsoka held her hands in the air in compliance.

"I am no Jedi." 

Even in her surrender, she was as confident as ever. The troopers held their blasters poised at her. Two soldiers hurried to either side of her: one forced binders onto her wrists and the other confiscated her lightsabers. Then they, rather violently, escorted Ahsoka onto a transport. She was taken to a room on the star-destroyer and forced to her knees. She watched as one of the troopers flung her sabers onto a nearby table. 

Ahsoka noticed the tall figure of Anakin. He faced a window overlooking the peaceful world of Lurin. To her surprise, Ahsoka found herself studying her former master's golden, wavy locks. Anakin could feel Ahsoka's eyes, curiously, locked on the back of his head: willing his face to turn and become visible to her. He did not relent.

"This is the end for you, my apprentice." Anakin started.
"I've seen her, Anakin," Ahsoka stated. The two ex-Jedi shared long pause; Ahsoka tried to understand if he knew of his daughter and Anakin probed her mind to uncover the identity of this mysterious "her". It was soon apparent that Anakin did not know of Leia.
"Your daughter," Ahsoka filled in the blanks, awaiting his reaction.
"Leia."
A surge of emotions flowed through the force: confusion, guilt but most importantly an overwhelming, harrowing sense of sorrow. And, Anakin had only let out a fraction of what he was feeling- there was too much of this crippling grief to keep contained in one being. And so it had spilt out into the force. Allowing the pieces to finally fit together for Ahsoka: Padmé was gone. And Anakin had done it. Anakin had killed her. Ahsoka figured that Anakin must have loved Padmé. Loved her more than he loved himself. Loved her more than anything else in the universe. Loved her more than he ever loved Ahsoka.

Ahsoka wanted nothing more than to help take away the pain from Anakin. It killed her to realise that she added to the suffering he was already enduring. Her decision to leave the Jedi order had plagued her every single day. She knew that she would never be able to forgive herself. Anakin had been right. She had been selfish. And she had failed him. 

Ahsoka buried her face in her hands. She realised that they had more in common than she had once thought, as she had seen on Mortis, they were both crippled by guilt. She needed Anakin to know that she too was riddled with sorrow. And it was leaving him that had caused the misery. She concentrated and after all the years completely addressing what she was feeling and accepting it. 

Ahsoka was regretful. She was miserable. She had left the one person who had stood by her almost her whole life- the one person who did not give up on her when everyone else did. And after everything he had done for her, she repaid Anakin by abandoning him. Who knows what would have happened if she had stayed? Would Anakin have succumbed to the dark side? Ahsoka hated herself for what she had done to him. Her mind wandered back to the dreaded day. The moment she had failed her master and destroyed their relationship- almost beyond repair. Ahsoka's hands fell to the floor. 

"You were right. I failed you. I deserted you. I'm so, so sorry." A single tear carved its way down her face.

"I understand, more than you realise your suffering. Not a day has gone by where I haven't been sorry. Where I haven't had to live with the decisions I made. Where I haven't remembered that I sacrificed everything because I was being selfish."

Anakin began to realise that Ahsoka felt the same pain that he did. He had been thinking about himself too when his wife needed him the most. And as a result, Padmé had died. Like master, like apprentice. Because Anakin had died. The man he used to be would always be buried with her.

"Ahsoka," Anakin stated.

 Ahsoka knew she couldn't change the past; she had to move forward and atone for her wrongdoings.    

"I know." he finished.

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Hi again y'all!
I hope you all noticed the references to when Ahsoka left the Jedi order & RoTS!
By the way, "Tinikin" is a mix of Ahsoka's usage of "Tinnies" for battle droids and "Anakin". If you enjoyed this chapter please vote & comment- I always reply. :)