the journal - h.s.

86

“Often you can check if things are not natural - in dreams things are usually going against the laws of physics, you know?” I just watched her as her eyes closed again, while she listened to me. I rested my head in my one hand which was clenching the object I had brought with me while resting on my elbow. My other hand travelled up to her face, where she had loosened her tight grip on the duvet. She yawned slightly before rolling back onto her back. Her hand escaped the duvet and she stretched her arm far behind her like some little tiger just waking up. In between the yawn and the stretch she muttered a slow ‘yeah’ to my question, before letting her arm fall down her side lazily.

“And you can test your strengths and abilities,” my free hand found hers and I let my thumb brush over her caringly. She stretched out her fingers and moved her wrist around a little just easing up her muscles from the sleep. I held her hand carefully and turned it over so her inner wrist was facing upwards. For a moment I lifted my body and held it in the air as I shifted the object in my one hand to the other.

“Often you can’t read very well in dreams for instance.” I bit down on the cap of the ink pen I had found on the stack of books and pulled it off with my teeth.

“Just lay still - and don’t look yet,” I told her with a grin after letting the cap of the pen fall to the mattress. Her head was in the movement of tilting to my side and suddenly more awoken watch what I was doing, but I chuckled at her, “don’t look, babe.”

A smile flashed on her lips along with a slightly stubborn scoff, “okay, okay.” Her eyes stayed closed.

I looked at her laying there with a curious grin waiting for me to write her something, that she could then try to read. All in order to make sure she wasn’t dreaming - of course.

“Okay - but then you have to write … the most honest thing you can think of!” A giggle escaped her lips as her eyes were still tightly closed. I hummed for a second before an ‘okay’ left my lips.

For a short while I watched her fair skin, which unlike mine hadn’t been touched with any inked stories - yet at least. But somehow I liked her this way; all clean and with all her stories safely inside. Not that I would mind if she ever got a tattoo, but I didn’t mind it either if she would never get one. I let the ink pen touch her fair skin.  

I didn’t even have to give it a lot of thought, as I wrote the most honest thing I could possibly think of right here in this moment with here on the mattress. Bathed in early sunlight and my worries - for now - thankfully forgotten so I had time to catch my breath in this roaring storm I was caught in. I didn't even notice how my heartbeat increased, or how the warmth rushed into my cheeks.

 

[amber’s pov]

It tickled as he traced short delicate lines with the pen over my sensitive skin, but I suppressed the urge to giggle softly or have a look - not necessarily at what he was writing. No, I wanted to watch him. How he furrowed his brows a little when he concentrated; how he wouldn’t have time to sweep back his hair and it would fall messily into his eyes. How his green eyes would concentrate right until he would see me watching him and a smile would break forth.

As I waited for him my mind flew to the topic of how Harry was ought to call Theo today and tell him about keeping the job. I was pretty sure he would. I didn't dare to think of any of the other darker topics at the moment; that could wait for later. They simply were not allowed access into my perfect moment of the day. Harry was though. Of course.

As he finally finished; my skin felt a little colder where the tip of the pen had touched me, but he quickly made me forget about it, as he after whispering ‘don’t look yet’ placed a kiss on the underside of my elbow, all the way down my forearm till he finally reached my inner wrist where he had scribbled something still unknown but honest. I felt chills run down my spine as his lips lightly touched the written words as the last thing.

“So can I look now? And see if I’m really dreaming or not?” I chuckled still with my eyes tightly closed waiting impatiently. I felt very very awake now; my every cell desperate to see what he had written of poetic beauty - and even on me this time. I hadn’t been able to make out what the lines had said even though I had tried to follow along.

“Yeah - so if you can read it you for sure are not dreaming,” his words were careful. A little slower and deeper than before. I opened my eyes and rolled onto my side still only just watching him; he wasn't wearing any shirt so all his upper body tattoos were showing beautifully on the flawless skin. His eyes seemed to be sparkling strangely - differently in a way that I had ever seen before; for some reason I couldn’t quite figure out why his cheeks were slightly blushed like if his heart was beating faster than usual. He seemed a little edgy maybe even - happy but nervous? The sight of him suddenly made me nervous too - what had he written?

With a heart like a hummingbird’s I lifted my arm between us to read his scribbled words. He had written the few words very carefully so I could easily read them as I lifted my arm. He had put a lot of effort into writing them beautifully I quickly noticed from the simple harmonized beauty of his handwriting. My eyes flew over the few blue inked words and my heart skipped a beat as the sentence formed into the simplest most beautiful one - assuring me, that I was in fact awake. The meaning of his most honest written words though - made me doubt my waking state.

Three small words in his unique handwriting forming the sentence; I love you.

I read it over and over waiting for the words to move around or not make sense - proving that I must be asleep. That this had to be a dream. That this couldn’t be real. But they stayed perfectly in place, right where he had written them until his suddenly raspy slow voice sounded into the air - sounding strangely fragile as he finally said it; “I love you, Amber.”

 

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a/n: *no words just major kawaii smile*

Ehm yes so - thank you for being patient with me! x thanks for everything guys :’) x