The Decline of Kaitlynn Lewinsky

Chapter 1

The Decline of Kaitlynn Lewinsky

Chapter 1

"I'm tired of your shit, Kaitlynn!" My mother screamed from the bottom of the stairs.

As I sat in my darkened room, I wondered what I had done this time. Maybe I forgot to wash the car, maybe she found my weed again, or maybe she was just on another one of her drunken rages.

After dad left, she was left with only me and our old, run-down apartment. She became a mess, drinking from dawn until dusk. To make matters worse, she didn't have a job. Her reasoning? She refused to support "such an utter failure who lived in her house, rent free." She was wrong though: while she was drunk at 8am, I was getting ready for one of my two part-time jobs and homeschooling myself. She paid the bills with her "disability" check every month. I say disability like that because she doesn't have one. Almost a year ago she broke her arm in 8 places working at a construction site. It healed about 2 months ago, but she still wears the cast so she can continue to receive her check.

"Kaitlynn, I swear to God, get down here!"

I rolled my eyes and planted my feet on the carpet. With every step, the floor creaked, and with every inhale came another endless exhale. I was tired of living. The strain and stress of every single breath I took weighed on me, as if I was burying myself thousands of feet below the ocean.

"I know you're up there, whore!"

There she was again. I often thought of my mother as a banshee, screaming and wailing through the night; sometimes weeping in her own quiet corner. Another step forward, then another, then another. The door was just at the end of my finger tips. I spent at least a minute standing there, contemplating if I was going to turn the knob and walk out there; or stay in here, shove a pillow over my head to either restrict airflow or drown out the screaming. Whatever happened first was fine by me.

The next morning, after peeling my eyes open, I scan around my room.

"New holes?" I said in reference to my door which instead of the usual four holes in my door, there were six.

I figured it was my mother's doing and brushed it off. Getting up proved to be more and more challenging every morning. It seemed sometimes the only thing keeping me from offing myself the first chance I get, is a blunt. Isn't that a wonderful thought? The only thing keeping me from imminent, yet instant death, is a plant. How environmentally friendly of me.

Slowly I drag myself out of bed, and shuffle my feet along the dusty carpet towards the bathroom. Just before closing and locking the bathroom door behind me, I notice my mother halfway out of her room, passed out on the floor. I figure she's drunk, and if you're wondering why I figure that, well, the empty bottle of Jack next to her seemingly lifeless corpse is a bit of a hint. I sigh as I close the door. Looking in the mirror I scoff at myself. I lightly tug on a handful of my brown hair and roll my eyes.

"It so dead, Edgar Allen Poe wants to hide it under his floorboards," I sneer, taking one last look into my own green eyes before looking away to my priority every morning: the toilet.

A few moments later, I opened the door, stepped over my mother's body, and walked down the stairs. I don't usually eat breakfast, it never seemed important to me. Grabbing the keys to my mother's car off the counter, I hopped into the old Volkswagen and began my drive to Seabear's Diner. I've worked there for almost six months now and I've never hated a place more. The only redeeming quality of the diner is a girl I met there. She's not the most charming gal in the world, but she sure has a hell of a face. I remember the first time I saw her waiting tables, how her auburn hair would fall slightly in front of her face while grabbing dirty dishes off of a table. How her light hazel eyes would sparkle in the harsh light of the bar. She moved with such a distinct lack of grace it was almost funny, but I was usually too distracted by how cute it was to laugh. In short, she was really hot.

Getting out of my car, I flipped off the diner as I walked in, caring less for the families about to come inside.

"Well, aren't you a sight for sore eyes?" My coworker said as I walked through the door.

"Yeah, well, you'd look gross, too, if you had woken up to your mother sprawled across the hallway floor," I laugh a little to lighten up the mood.

"Hey, Kaitlynn!" A voice said from behind me.

Turning around, I smile. "Hey, Audrey!" She looked perfect, as usual.

"What's your shift today?" She asked, carrying a tray of dirty dishes with one hand.

"Nine to five," I replied. "What's up?"

"You wanna have a smoke sesh' after work?" She grinned, pointing to a pipe slightly poking out of her apron.

"I'm so down," I said smiling and winking, before walking to the back where the lockers were.

Throughout the day, we continued to wink at each other, sometimes stopping what we were doing to play with each other's hair.

Hours passed and finally the work day was over. I was waiting out back for Audrey to finish her shift. Most people during this time would sit on their phone, but I didn't have one. I spent every paycheck on food and bills, since my mother wasn't very responsible.

"Hey, Kaitlynn!" Audrey smiled as she walked outside from the Diner.

"Hey!"

"You ready?"

"Yep!" I grabbed my lighter out of my pocket and shook it a little in front of me.

Audrey grinned as we begin our walk to serpent wall. The serpent wall was this area about a mile from the diner.

It's called the serpent wall because originally it was made to be the output of the sewer, but the company went out of business, leaving the sewers inactive. There were three concrete walls surrounding a stone ground. And you know what happens to a blank concrete wall in the middle of a city. Soon, a giant snake was painted along the walls, leading to more and more art to be spray painted around the snake.

It was calm, especially on an early spring evening like this one. Just in front of the area was a beautiful pond with cattails, duckweed, several flowery bushes just now in colorful bloom, and, best of all, oak trees lined the path leading there, bringing everything together. Before I knew it, we had arrived. We sat down, placed a couple candles and lit them.

"Beautiful, isn't it?" Audrey said, staring at the setting sun's glow on the water.

All I could do was stare at her and smile; the scenery couldn't possibly compare to her.

Looking back to me, she said, "I- I don't know. Call me gay, but I used to write poems about views like this." She took a hit then continued, "Countless stories with this setting, flowered my mind for most of my youth." She laughed for a moment, then stopped. I couldn't tell why, but all of the sudden she had this somber look on her face. "I used to sit here with my mother when I was kid. She'd hold me and sing this-this melody." She began to hum, and I listened.

Every note had clear and honest feeling behind it, and with every note, it carried itself to the next. She soon stopped humming, and said, "I couldn't name the song if you asked, but it's the only song I've wanted to listen to since," she paused, "since she died." She let her head fall, and the concrete below her became wet with her tears.

I got up and moved closer to her and hugged her. "It'll be okay, you're okay," I said softly.

I held her until she stopped crying. I looked her in the eyes when she finally picked her head up. Our eyes met, and slowly we both leaned in a little closer. Our noses were touching at this point, staring at each other. Neither of us dared to blink. Her eyes were red, but still sparkled in the reflection of the moon. I could feel the wetness on her cheek as I brought my hand up to her face. We were close enough at this point to where the heat from our bodies is palpable. We paused for a moment, on bated breath, still staring into each other's soul. She looked down for a moment, breaking the stare. She pulled away and laughed a little.

"Thank you, Kaitlynn," she said, looking back up to the moon. I did the same, sweat slowly falling down my face.

"Anytime, Audrey." I said quietly.

She leaned her head on my shoulder, and I rested mine on her head. We fell asleep there, in that spot for the remainder of the night. I wouldn't have had it any other way.