"If I had made another choice, if I had convinced you more. If only I had fought more, maybe you wouldn't have left me."
"I love you." You whispered in pain.
"I love you too." He said, his expression reciprocating your voice.
"Then why can't you live for me? Am I not enough?!" You attack.
You didn't understand what it was that kept making him so suicidal. You were there for him. You told him countless times how much he meant to you, that he was important. That he was your whole world, but still he felt self hate for himself. You didn't understand, no matter how much he told you, no matter how much you tried to feel the empathy.
"Because I'm selfish." He spoke so softly, you almost missed it. He wouldn't look at you, his eyes glued to the ground and he didn't want to answer your last question.
Unknown anger that had formed from frustration and exhaustion boiled throughout your veins.
You took a deep, shaky breath trying to calm yourself down, but the words slipped before you could stop them.
"You're right. You're selfish, and you're also a coward." You gasped a little, averting your eyes.
You felt awful because you slightly understood how hard it was overcome the self hatred, and at that moment you hated yourself for saying those words to him.
That gnawing guilty didn't long though, as all he could manage out a simple "I'm sorry."
Your hands shook and you kept them in a tight ball, restraining the tears that cautioned to fall out soon.
"Do whatever you want." You whispered and walked away, leaving him more broken than you could ever imagine.
A part of you knew you should turn around. That you should hug and give him more love, enough to love him for himself. You wanted to do so too, but your pride clouded your judgement and you kept walking on, not daring to see the sobs that you ignored.
You raised your head, watching as the azure sky become a beautiful pink color. You slowly dragged yourself away from the now distant sniffling sounds, your vision blurring as your tears spilled out along with soft sobs.
You knew somewhere in your heart that this was the last time you would see the pink tints in the face of the person you loved most. And that was what made it harder for you to accept, that you knew but didn't care enough.
"I guess I really wasn't enough. I wasn't good enough."
