Prologue
2015, August
I feel cold....
I feel exposed in the middle of darkness; I'm not sure where I am. The hairs on my neck and arms prickle as I hear the inane voices of men laughing; they're to be found somewhere near me.
Another group of male voices interrupted, chuckling, not near and not far too. By the tone of it you will instantly come up with words uneducated, sickening and disturbing. If only someone could also hear what their topics are, it will make them cringe in fear. Discomfort boosted followed by the unexpected terrors. I know they are almost raping me with their sinful eyes.
It's dark...
I can't see. There's this smooth and silky fabric thing secured around my head, covering my eyes.
Why is this happening to me? It was a desperate question; a stupid and desperate question that will remain unanswered.
My eyes started to water because of the emotions threatening to explode. Fear, shame, disappointment and remorse getting through me all at the same time.
"The last one will be Aizelle Navelga. Twenty five years old." A strong voice boomed, echoing within my ears. He's using a microphone. If there's something I can do to not hear it, I'd probably do so. The sound in this place is like a melded roar in my head. I've had never expect that I'd come to a point in life that I wish I could get any sharp object and just slit my own neck. I want to end it that way; I'm so shattered. My ears feel as though it's a radar sensor despite the strange and still quietness of the place; it was anyway quiet until they arrived. I flinched as I hear them laughing again; discomfort creeping all over me and it's worsening each passing time.
The nameless man with a microphone cleared his throat first–an indication they are all waiting, there was a very bright light that I can almost see. It was so bright like a spotlight.
My tears made its own way to go back because of the uneasiness. God, I can't even cry.. "Fresh, pure and a virgin.." Said the nameless man.
I heard different voices; screaming and throwing disgusting words. I was in mental pain because of the adjectives. I could imagine them grinning despite not seeing.
This is so brutally impossible. I don't even have the energy to at least fight the uneasiness.
Then comes this fear I also felt the first time I heard the news about my dad; The bus, the guns, the broadcaster and the kids. I was so angry but fucking scared. Galit na galit ako pero wala akong magawa. I was told that they knew who's the daughter and that's me. They'd kill me if they found me. I thought I was already safe when I decided to... I recalled; bitter sweet memories interrupt and it somehow gives me odd and rough strength. Stop it Aizelle, It will not make sense anymore. I should be thankful I'm still alive. A part of me whisphers.
Someone suddenly grabbed the fabric covering my body, followed by a harsh snatch of my blindfold. I was unarmed and defenseless.
My face scrunched as the massive amount of brightness and cold air brushed my skin. I covered myself using my arms which I find useless; damn useless.
"Gentlemen, shall we?" He winked, hands gesturing where I was as though he's a polite businessman; they started nodding their heads. My lips quivered when I see their nauseating faces. The sobs and my expressions are surprisingly giving them unsolicited pleasure.
I manage to classify my emotions. Disgust and loath. Pure and raw. I wish I have the strength to freeze it, kill it and face the unpleasant reality, but even my mind couldn't find a way to stop my body from trembling. My body is betraying my mind. I couldn't make myself calm.
