These Words.

Rant

This is sort of a rant, don't know really.

As I went around wattpad, going through pages of poems and stories, and reading peoples' profiles, I realized something. It might've been something obvious to most people but it was like a 'woah' moment for me.

We are so messed up.

Every single one of us. We're all crazy. We all have very weird ways of thinking, very different from eachother. I'm messed up myself, the fact that I'm writing this, writing so many personal poems and leaving it here for all eyes to see says something about me. But there's always the one thing that makes us similar. 

We are all lonely.

No matter how many friends or family members you have around you, you will always have that sense of loneliness. And that does not mean you're ungrateful; it simply means you're human, and that you've been through something and once that thing is taken away from you, you can never replace it.

Once it's gone, there's a hole in your life. I have many things missing from my life, things I can't get back, things that can't be forgotten no matter how hard I try, things that feel like a sharp pain in my chest every time I think about it.

I have tried, time and time again, to fill up these empty gaps in my life. To replace them with something else. But whether it's passing the hours performing on stage or trying to escape the world in harmful ways, those things can never be replaced.

Those people can never be forgotten, whether your love them or hate them. No amount of make up will cover up those scars. Nothing in this world can bring that one thing back; the innocence of my childhood. Nothing can be erased.

Maybe I need to stop feeling sorry for myself and move the fuck on. But it just hurts. Sitting alone in your room, your phone switched off, hiding under the covers, trying to block your mind of those images.

We are a messed up generation. What the fuck happened to us? We've all turned into the monsters we were scared of.

We are all scarred. 

We are all hurt.

We are all alone.