The Way We Feel

Chapter 12

Because nothing about our lives as they were now was so bad that we didn't still love each other with everything we had. And though we didn't often get to express that love in the same ways we were used to, it was nice finding new ways to show each other how much we cared.

"Want one?" a voice asked, and I realized I'd been staring off into space, and turning my head reminded me just how tired my body was.

Vanessa was holding out a packet of peanut M&M's to me. I hadn't even noticed her sit down beside me.

"Thanks," I said, holding out my hand so that she could pour some into it. I hoped the sugar might give me a little boost of energy.

"Cillian?" she asked, calling over me.

He turned his attention away from his phone to look at her, and shook his head when he saw what she was offering. "No thanks."

I chewed my M&M's in silence, watching the crew continue to work around us, and felt like I could drift off to sleep if given the right amount of time sitting here.

"You think he's gonna make us run it again?" Vanessa asked, her voice a low thrum beneath the sounds of the crew at work. She shook the bag of M&M's and plucked another one from it's depths.

"I hope not," I said, fear creeping into my veins just as my blood slowed. "I genuinely might pass out if he does."

Vanessa laughed, but she was just as slumped in her seat as I was. "I know. My thighs are on fire from that jump."

There was a part in the scene where Vanessa's character had to leap up onto a platform a solid three feet off the ground. Vanessa was doing her own stunts for the most part, and had nailed the leap every time. It wasn't just any jump either—it was both feet off the ground at the same time and landing with both feet on the platform at the same time. Every time. She had yet to miss one, and I hadn't even kept count of how many times she'd had to do it.

I glanced sideways at her, knowing that a jump like that took a shit-ton of core strength. "I don't think he'll make you do it again."

A dewy sheen to her forehead still, she gave me a doubtful smile. "We'll see. He's reviewing the footage now. It wouldn't surprise me if he did."

I smirked. "Guess I can't fool you anymore. A month and a half on the job, and you're getting the hang of things."

"I started gathering that on Day 2," Vanessa said, smiling over at me now. She shook her bag of M&M's again and let her fingers dive inside. "No thanks to you."

I felt my brow wrinkle, and tried to feign offense. "Heeey."

My long, drawn-out whine only gained some more laughter, and then she proceeded to offer me more M&M's, as if it were her way of admitting she was joking, which I accepted gratefully.

We were both quiet for a few moments, both thoughtful as we chewed our treats and watched the crew work around us, watched Chris watching the monitor—and maybe it was just me that was hoping the hand curled up around his mouth, and his drawn-together brows meant he liked what he saw.

"It's not what I thought it would be," Vanessa said, seemingly from out of nowhere then.

I was chewing my last M&M as I looked over at her. "What?"

She popped another one into her mouth as she shrugged, and her blonde ponytail swung around her shoulders as she turned to look at me. "Any of this, I guess." She smiled a little, her eyes going back to the scene in front of us. "But in a good way." Then she tacked on a, "Mostly."