Blackwater park

Reason and reunification

''Good morning, my dear''

His voice sounded unfamiliar to him, but that didn't matter. HEre, in front of his wife's grave, a wave of calmth washed over him. His world had fallen apart, he barely recognized himself anymore, he'd lost his job, forgotten his friends, and yet, when he was here, everything was ok for a while.

He had always been a man of logic, of reason and science and cynicism, but now the thought of something -a part of her, or some kind of reflection- still residing here, the presence of something invisible, did not sound impossible at all.
But then again, he was not by far the same person as he used to be.
Branches rustled behind him, and he felt the wind tugging at his hair, almost like curious fingers, a windy caress whispering hello.
A smile appeared on his face. Reason was nice and all, but it hadn't helped him when he was on the edge of collapsing. Logic might have been comforting once, but now his only comfort was laced with madness and impossibility.
And madness it was, because nothing else could explain the way he felt, knew that he was not alone. Nothing else could explain her whisperings and caresses, the contours of her face in the cold air.
Logic couldn't, and thus he wanted nothing of it.
Would one be considered a fool by throwing away his logic when his deepest desire was right in front of him and encouraged him to do so?
He thought not, but he also thought it didn't really matter.
She, however, did matter, and even if he was a fool, he still was hér fool.
''My dear, oh, my dear, i've missed you so'', he said, reaching out to her. A tear traced a cold path from his eye to the corner of his smiling mouth. His legs gave in, shivering from something more powerfull than cold.
His knees met the ground, painfully hard against his shins, but he paid no attention to it. The image in front of him, that was the only thing that mattered. He could see her face so clearly now, and when he felt her nurturing hands stroking his hair, he would have sworn the ice on it melted away.
''oh, my dear, my dear...'', he whispered, and when he saw her smile at him, he sobbed like a child.
Tears streaming over his face, he smiled back. He closed his eyes for a few eternities, and wallowed in her presence like a warm bath. She was everywhere.
Like she had replaced the air, she covered him entirely, and for precious moments, he was at peace.

Good things, however, never last long.
A shiver so deep it seemed to reach his bones made its way through his body, ripping him from his serenity.

She was pulling back, he realized with sudden clarity, and his eyes shot wide open. He reached out to her again, but she was just a little bit too far away. The mist had thickened by now, and made her almost invisible. But the mist wasn't the only reason for that. She was distancing herself.
And soon she would be swallowed by the mist just like he'd imagined himself to do.

''No!''
The desperate cry ripped through his troat. 
''No, please, no!''
His hands clawed over the frozen ground, and he scrambled to his feet. A last flash of her caught his eye when he stumbled forward, but then she was gone.
''No, no, no...''
He kept mumbling that same word over and over again when he ran after her. He ran without knowing where he was, without knowing where he'd go.
The mist hid everything from his sight but his own body, and a distant part of his mind remarked that mist wasn't supposed to be this dense.
But then he caught a glimpse of her again, and all coherent thought dissapeared. 
There was only her as he ran, only her fading away and then suddenly showing up again.
And when at once the mist cleared, it was still, still only her.
Hesitantly, he slowed down and then stood still.

In front of him, the pond, and her. she was standing in the middle of it, like a weightless icedancer in her starting pose, waiting for her partner to join.
Yes, that's what she wanted.
''Come here, my dear. Follow me.''

The ice cracked under his feet without resistance when he stepped forward.
Water flowing around his ankles, soaking his shoes.
Another step.
Shivering knees.
Another step.
Burning thights.
Another step.
Cramping stomach.
Another step.
Follow me, dear, follow me.
Another step, and another step, and another.
Follow me, dear, follow me, join me.
And oh, following her was just what he did. Evaporating into mist was impossible, but dissapearing in water was not. He followed until it filled his lungs, stilled his heart, froze his brain, and still he kept following, following untill he joined her at last.