Gilmore Girls: After the Year

Change of Heart

It was dark in the Gilmore house when Rory got out of bed.  Her sleepless mind didn't register where her body was taking her until it was too late and she was in front of Luke's Diner.  She knew that Luke wouldn't be there, he was undoubtedly with her mom.  No, there was someone else that she was seeking. 

She stepped back into the road and then Rory Gilmore, Yale graduate, began throwing rocks at the window of the apartment above the diner.

It took only three rocks before the window opened and a sleepy Jess stuck his head out.  "Rory?" He whispered.  "What are you doing?"

She crossed her arms over her chest.  "Can I come in?"

He must have noticed the way that her voice cracked, or seen the tears that she was holding back.  He always knew these things about her.  He nodded and quickly ran down the stairs to unlock the door.  Jess opened it and they met face-to-face.

"Hi," she said softly.

"Hi back.  Come on in," he opened it wide and led her in with a gentle hand on her back.  "Can I get you something? What am I saying, you're you... You want coffee." He turned to make some but she caught his wrist.

"No coffee.  I just want to talk..."

"Wow, no coffee? Something must really be wrong."  His tone was teasing but his eyes said otherwise.  "Let's sit."

They sat down at a table near the window and he looked at her expectantly.

"Okay, it's going to be hard for me to get through all of this so I would really appreciate it if you didn't interrupt me."

He shifted in his seat.  "If I didn't know any better, I'd say you were breaking up with me or something." He saw the look she gave him and held his hands up.  "Sorry.  Staying quiet."

"Okay... God, I probably sound so stupid... Alright.  I just wanted to fix things that I left broken, because I don't know if I'm going to see you again after tomorrow and I have so much that I've wanted to say to you.  First things first, I'm sorry.  I'm sorry for everything I ever did to you... I suck at love, and the fact that I let you get away is proof of that.  For what it's worth, I wanted to run away with you.  I was scared and confused and I was doing something really, really bad.  You just showed up at the worst possible moment and I wasn't me.  I haven't been me for a really long time... So, yeah.  That's that... And also, I did love you.  You didn't give me a chance to say it, but I did."

He was staring at her in a way he hadn't in a long time.  "Can I speak now?" She nodded.  "What is this, Rory?  What do you mean you may never see me again?  You can't just tell me all of this and then leave.  Something brought this on, and I want to know what it is."

Suddenly, she looked like the little prep school girl he had met.  She looked like the girl who's heart he broke, who broke his heart back.

"Jess, I'm pregnant."

He just stared at her for a minute before managing a quiet and sad, "Congratulations.  You and the dad must be thrilled..."

She shook her head.  "I... I don't know how I feel.  The dad isn't actually around."

Suddenly Jess began to understand.  "I'll kill him.  Who is he?  He can't just abandon you and this kid."

"No, Jess.  He doesn't know... He can't know... He's getting married.  Hell, he might already be married."

He sat back slowly in his chair.  "Logan."

She nodded slowly.

"God, he's such an idiot."

"It takes two, Jess.  I'm just as dumb as he is." Rory said quietly.

"No. Rory, he's always taken advantage of you.  He's a pathetic excuse for a human being.  Let me guess, he acted like he was going to leave her, right?"

"Jess, just drop it.  What's done is done.  I haven't talked to him in almost two months, and I don't plan on talking to him.  I'll tell him eventually but for now this is my problem."

"You need help, Rory."

"No I don't.  I need to be adult about this.  I'm moving to New York and I'm doing this on my own."

He blinked.  "You aren't even getting help from your mom?  I thought you two did everything together."

"She's married now.  She's got Luke and that's all she's ever wanted.  I'm not wrecking that.  I'll go to New York, learn to be by myself.  I'll finish writing my book.  I just have to find an apartment."

He ran his fingers through his hair.  "You probably won't like this, but I'm moving back to New York too.  I have a two bedroom apartment and there's only one of me..."

She met his eyes. "Jess..."

"Move in with me."

"I can't just-"

"Yes, you can. You don't want my help, I get that, but what happens if there's an emergency? This isn't just about you anymore. You have to worry about this baby and while you're doing that, someone should probably worry about you." He searched her eyes. "Rory, look into my eyes and tell me that you don't want me by your side. Tell me that there isn't even a little bit of you that's scared of doing this alone. I still have feelings for you, kid. I don't think I'll ever stop having feelings for you. Based on what you've just said, you've got to care for me just a little, too. So please, let me do this."

Suddenly she felt it again. That stirring in her chest that only happened when Jess was involved. It was simultaneously the best and worst feeling that had ever come over her, but she couldn't get enough of it. "Okay," she whispered. "I need your help."

He smiled softly. "You don't need anything from anyone. You're Rory Gilmore. I'm just forcing myself on you so that I don't lose you again."

She shook her head. "That's wrong... You're wrong. I need you, Jess. When we didn't talk... It was like I was spinning out of control. You're the only person in my life that is going to be totally honest with me, even when you know I won't take it well."

He smiled to himself and slowly took her hand across the table. "You never take anything well... Clearly I'm just unintelligent."

"Stop that.  You're brilliant, Jess, just like I always knew you were."  Her doe eyes had captured him again.  Her earnestness made his heart ache.

He held her hand tighter.  "I'm going to kiss you now," he whispered as he leaned in.

She wasn't even surprised by how quickly she met him in the middle and was the first to kiss him.  They started slow, but that only lasted for a matter of seconds before he climbed out of his seat, never breaking the kiss.  He slowly kneeled in front of where she was sitting so that she was slightly above him as the kiss grew in intensity.

Rory was the first to pull away, only long enough to whisper, "Can we take this conversation upstairs?"  She bit her lip and searched his face.

He tilted his head to the side and smirked up at her.  "Mmm.... I like the way you think, Ms. Gilmore."  He quickly picked her up, tossing her over his shoulder as he ran up the stairs, her laughs and squeals fueling him.

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Hey guys! I don't know if anyone is ever going to read this, but a huge thank you to anyone who does!! I would love to hear any and all ideas that you have for where this story should go!