Light Upon Light

#50 The Adieu

“H-how is everybody? D-dadi?”

I could feel the corner of my eyes prick again with wetness, but I was determined not to cry. I had to get out of this madness.

“Alhamdulilah, everyone is okay. They all miss you so much. It’s like as you shut the door on us the very spirit of Ashiana has dimmed. Even if the family gathers in the hall, nobody speaks much. Dadi’s tired very often. Ayesha calls everyday to ask about you. Last night Samar and Shoaib were planning to break into your room,” she giggled. But her eyes were forlorn.

Those tears that I tried to stop, they were flowing again, slowly one after the other. I wiped them away furiously.

“If they all miss me so much, why do they want me to leave?” Bitterness laced every word and Bhabhi flinched.

“Juni honey, you know it’s not like that. Stop listening to shaitan. We all love you and we miss you. We don’t want you to leave, but it’s not fair to your Mom either. She wants you home.”

“This is my home now, if she wants to be with me so badly, she can come here!”

Iqra Bhabhi sighed. She needn’t have reasoned, I knew how ridiculous my suggestion was. Even if Mom left her job there and settled here, half of my family would still be in Dubai. It would be incredibly selfish of me. I couldn’t make her do that. And I also knew Mom was doing this to try and make up for all the lost times.

“This is so confusing and horrible Bhabhi, I don’t want to go,” I sighed and looked down at my hands lying limp on my crossed legs.

Bhabhi laid her hands on mine, “Believe me, I understand. But you won’t get this chance in future. A time will come when you will have to leave your family and live in your new home. Then you will miss your Mom the most and be unable to go to her like you can do right now. So make the most of the time you get now, you said it yourself, you want to fix everything with your Mom. This is the time. As for Ashiana, you can always come here during your vacations, for Eid and other holidays and celebrations. We will all be here and we can always stay connected online and whatnot. It’s the twenty first century after all!”

And that was how I finally relented to going back to Dubai and came out of my self imposed prison sentence. I had spent so much time cooped up in my room that I came to hate it at times. And so I was almost always downstairs with my family, making the most of the time I had left with them. Bhabhi was right of course, with Allah’s blessing my Ali family and my friends and everyone would still be here. I need not feel like shifting back to Dubai would mean complete cut off.

Having had experience from Salimabad itself, I knew it wouldn’t be complete cut off. Even as I lived here I was still very much in contact with my parents and brothers.

When Iqra Bhabhi was done making me eat and convincing me that all the thoughts I had cooked up in my depression were utter nonsense, in came Samar and Shoaib Bhai. They weren’t alone though. Between them Dadi was being supported as she walked in, followed by the rest of the Ali family including Di and Jiju. All of them crossed half the way to my room and then stopped.

They were all smiling, big and small smiles. Almost all had moist eyes. But mine were fixed on Dadi. All the time I have spent here, I never saw her look so frail. And it broke me. She let go the boys and her hazel eyes were shedding tears one by one as she spread her hands out to me, beckoning me to go to her.

That was all it took to set all my silly thoughts on fire.

In a leap and bound I was throwing myself at her and we were laughing and crying at once. “I missed you so much my Junaina,” she reiterated as she held me tightly and stroked my hair.
Our embrace soon turned into a group hug as both my aunts and Di and Bhabhi joined in followed by their spouses and Samar. And then Chachi, Chachi, Phuppi and Di took turns to hug me as well.