CHAPTER TWENTY FOUR: heart of glass
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everything is dark.
empty.
like the lights have suddenly been turned off; the curtains blocking out the sun.
but, there is pain too and for once it's not an all encompassing type of pain that aches to the bones. it's just the type you can feel. the type you can finally acknowledge and not have it blinding you from anything else.
not like the whole world is on your case.
surprisingly it's almost a good feeling; a warm embrace, like something has changed for good.
somethings changed.
suddenly the lights are back on and i'm choking. harsh gags of breathes trying to escape from my throat, as my blurred vision starts to clear just the slightest bit.
hands are reaching for me, pressing my back to bed quickly, and if it weren't for the soft calming voice i wouldn't have stopped.
"that's just the breathing tube honey, we need you to stay still when we take this out right now," my nurse says and i blinked quietly, trying to keep the burning at my nose to a minimum.
i did not want to cry.
it feels like forever until she is able pull out the tube, relieving me and also ensuing panicked coughs.
the woman lifts a straw to my lips, cooling it refreshingly. "that's normal dear, it's just from your throat being dry with the ventilation is all. your parents are in the waiting room i-i'll go get them," she hastily whispers leaving just as quickly as spoken, and before i can blink my parents teared faces are up close.
"oh darling you're okay! y-you're here—" mother's sobbing whole heartedly now and she's touching every part of my face that she can. papa only watches, although it looks like he wants to speak by the way his mouth moves, he only presses a hard bruising kiss to my forehead instead.
"i was so afraid we'd lost you."
"i'm okay," i croaked and she only cried harder in what i assumed was relief. "i'm okay, i'm okay, i'm here mama." like a mantra i repeated endlessly until the words felt tired in my mouth, my fingers stilling in her hair abruptly.
"mama?" i breathed shakily as suddenly something very cold weighted in my chest, like all the air was being sucked out of the room. "w-where is finn? i haven't..."
i'm saving you.
and, oh no what had he—where was he?
"mom he said something b-before...tell me where he is!"
her lower lip trembled and i couldn't bare to keep looking into watering eyes once again. "oh baby," her voice is soft and cautious. "he was so brave, so brave and he wanted to do it. it was a miracle you guys were even a match considering even we weren't for you."
"oh god i—"
"he gave as much as he could to you and god we are so grateful for him—" dad says now, unknowingly running a thumb over the wedding ring finn had gifted to me, the simple gesture making a hard lump stick to my throat. "don't cry darling, he's ok there's need to worry. h-he saved you."
