The School

Chapter One

Millions of people watched me lie. You were probably one of them. Did you believe the things I said? I'll tell a secret. There is no such thing as reality television. Reality belongs to the one who tells the best story.

A hairdresser in Los Angeles twisted and oiled my hair into a tight bun. My mom would be happy when she saw that at least my hair was doing what it was told. Another lady powdered my face, glossed my lips, and curled my eyelashes.

"You look good," the makeup lady said. I already knew it.

Anne Juarez of News 10 came in to the green room where I waited alone. Her designer perfume reminded me of trips Mom and I used to take to the mall, trying on all of the nicest samples.

"You doing okay?" she asked.

"Yes, ma'am."

"How do you like L.A.?" She checked herself out in the mirror and ran a finger along her bottom lip.

"I like it," I said.

She nodded. "I'm moving downtown next month," she said. "Got promoted to the affiliate here."

"I'm happy for you," I said.

Then a funny thing happened. Anne got still for a minute and looked me straight in the eyes. Most people don't do that. They look everywhere but your eyes. She smiled as if we shared a secret. I guess in a way, we did. We were both ambitious girls who would do anything to get out of Franklin. Maybe if I were ten years older we would have been friends at Franklin High School. We would have dreamed of moving to Los Angeles to be broadcast journalists. We would have dreamed that working hard and getting good grades would add up to something down the line, and that our friendship would last forever.

"You'll do fine," she said, patting my arm. "Just relax. I appreciate you more than you know."

She left and a man came to take me to the set. I sat still while he connected me to the microphone, melting under lights that were hotter than the ones we used in our school's studio.

I had thought about wearing the friendship bracelet Jamie made me in ninth grade. If she saw it she would know that I still cared and would maybe want to be my friend again. I didn't end up wearing it. Jamie knew I was sorry. It just wasn't enough in her mind to make up for what I did and what happened after. I waited under the lights and traced my finger on my bare wrist.

I lost my best friend. At first it hurt so bad that I could hardly breathe. I was okay after six months. It's true that time heals. Yet, sitting on that sound stage, I was missing a big part of me. I would never get totally used to Jamie being gone from my life.

Anne Juarez clicked in on her high heel shoes and smiled as though we'd just met. She was more beautiful in person than on screen. She had a heart-shaped face and glowing skin. Perfect for the camera. She was our hometown girl from the local station near Franklin. She was the only one I would agree talk to in an interview. There were so many stations that wanted me, but really it was only fair to give the scoop to a hometown girl.

Channel 10 brought Anne to Los Angeles for the interview. I wasn't about to go back to Franklin for anything. They would have to come to me.

The Anne Juarez asking me questions in front of the camera was all business. I stared at the border of makeup at her jaw. I got obsessed with the idea of slipping my fingernails underneath that line and peeling the mask away. It would have been satisfying, not just for me but for her too. She would be cooler without it. Her skin would be able to breathe. I could take my mask off too and we could talk to each other for real about what it was like to be a smart brown girl in a place like Franklin, California. We could talk about what it really took to get out.