Moriartys Girl - A Sherlock Story

26 - You Can't Stop Me

We sat down for tea later in the evening; lamb shank with rosemary chips. Whoever the chef was, she was good. I often thought to myself to learn names, but then I'd be getting close and personal with them and I don't want that. Next we'll be braiding each other's hair and gossiping about boys, no thank you. I was never one to do girly things, guess that's why I liked shooting. As I kid I'd be in trousers and shorts, but as I grew up dresses and skirts were introduced. I experimented and loved them. But I still didn't like the gossiping us girls were supposed to do; there were so many other things to talk about than what Kim Kardashian wore (or didn't in her case).

I looked over to Jim who was busy eating with one hand while texting with the other, "Thought you didn't text?"

"Only when I have to" he didn't look up to me.

"Didn't mummy tell you it's rude to use your phone at the dinner table?"

He looked up to me, not moving his finger off the touchpad, "My house, my rules."

"What a parent thing to say" I sighed, throwing my napkin onto the table and getting up, "I'm going to bed, not that hungry."

I walked out the room and up to my room. I felt like a prison in here; luckily I was treated better than our actual prisoners.

After about 10 minutes my door open and Jim knocked gently, "Can I come in?"

"It's your house" I waved, sitting up on the bed.

Jim walked in, closing the door and popping his hands in his pockets. He stopped at the foot of my bed and looked down to the floor, his brow frowned. He looked like he was having an internal debate with himself, "Can I be frank?" He looked up to me

"Can I still be Alexa?" I smirked at him

"That's such a stupid joke" he smiled, gently laughing

"Made you laugh though." He moved round and sat on the edge, "What's on your mind?"

"About earlier and the whole caring thing -"

"I was mad. I should have told you where I was going and I'm sorry"

"No, no. You were right."

I looked at him confused, "about what?"

"Me caring" he took a deep breath in before continuing, "I do seem to care about you."

"What? No you don't" I laughed him off, he doesn't care for me. No. No he doesn't...does he?

"I do. And I just want you safe. I feel that -"

"I can't look after myself? That I need protecting? What?" I interrupted him, "This is exactly what you said about Sherlock. He cared, he wanted to protect me. You said you knew I didn't need protection and yet, here you are TRYING to protect me!" I jumped off my bed and paced my room, "I mean, what the fuck is that about? The whole reason I'm here is because you believed in me and what? Now you don't!"

"I didn't say that" Jim said quietly, looking down at his feet, "I'd hate to see anything happen to you."

"Anything happen to me? The worst things that have happened to me while you've been around have been from you! Not Sherlock or John or Lestrade or anything, but you!"

"Joey did tort-"

"No. Joey didn't. You did" I stood in front of him and he looked up, pain in his eyes, "you did it. You may not have been holding the knife but it was your fault Joey did that to me. You told him to."

"He would have killed you if I didn't step in!" He shouted at me as he stood up off the bed

"At least I wouldn't be here!" I screamed back at him.

Jim grabbed my throat and pushed me against the wall. His face was inches away from mine as I hung there, my toes just scrapped the ground.

"Don't you EVER say that again!" He spat at me, "I've given you a life worth living. I've given you everything you wanted, yet you wish you were dead!"

"I've lost everybody" I managed to get out as his grip tightened round my throat

"You haven't lost me" he put me down just as I thought I couldn't take it anymore. I took in big, deep breathes as he spoke, "I care about you. Did I expect to? No. Did I want to? No. I may even go as far as saying that I lov -" he stopped as my eyes darted to his.

"You don't love me" I whispered.

"You can't stop me" he simply said before walking out my room, slamming the door behind him.