My Summer Diary a.i

November 29th

I guess the whole story started back in late November. The summer holidays were fast approaching and everyone was keen for Christmas and New Years.

Friday 29/11/13

I sat in caregroup staring at the clock. '3:05'. Five minutes to go and year 10 was over. No more stupid lessons that I didn't want to take like science. Next year I could choose whatever classes I wanted. For now though, I just wanted to get out of this classroom and begin my holidays.

Everyone was chattering away with their friends about what they had planned for the holidays while I sat alone, like usual. I've never really had any friends. This meant I had loads of study time though which means I always get great grades. That's good, right?

Anyway, mostly everyone was just planning on chilling here in Adelaide with friends and go to the beach everyday. I, however, was going to Sydney like I do every year. My mum's sister lives there in this huge house so mum and I go their every Christmas holidays. I love going there. I actually have friends there. My best friend, Joey, has been messaging me non stop since last year begging me to come back. Well guess what, Joey, tomorrow I will be. We leave at 6am which I'm not complaining about because it means I get out of Adelaide and into Sydney sooner!

'3:09'. One minute to go. I'm getting anxious now. I stare at the clock and watch the second hand tick painfully slowly. At exactly 3:10 the bell rang and I walked straight out of the classroom, quicker than anyone else. I reached the front of the school and saw all my schoolmates hugging each other and saying their goodbyes. I scoffed. It's not like they wouldn't meet up tomorrow anyway.

I put in my headphones and started walking home, trying to ignore the world around me.

Once I got home I yelled out to see if mum was home. She wasn't, no surprise, but it's okay because I knew she wouldn't finish work until 5 and then have to go food shopping aswell before she would be home. I went upstairs, threw my bag onto the floor, and got out my phone to call Katie. She would have finished school half an hour ago - stupid timezones - and would probably be out with friends, but it was worth a shot.

After three rings I heard Joey's cheery voice.

"Tay!" she yelled into the phone and I had to move my phone away to save my ears from bursting.

"Hey Joey," I laughed, "what you up to?"

"I'm actually at Boost Juice with Kristina and Sophia celebrating the end of year 10," she said happily, "do you want me to put you on speaker?"

Kristina and Sophia were my other friends in Sydney. The four of us would hang out everyday each year when I would go see them. I felt so left out when I was back home in Adelaide, but each year when I arrived in Sydney, it was as if I'd never left.

"Nah it's okay, I'll be able to talk to them tomorrow!" I said with excitement.

"O.M.G. I cannot wait for you to get here!" Joey squealed, "when do you leave?"

"6am," I replied.

I heard Joey gasp through the phone, "so early! I have so much to do before you get here!"

I laughed at panicked Joey quietly, "okay well I'll get back to packing then! Love you, see you tomorrow!"

"Love you!" is the last thing I heard Joey say before the line went dead. I smiled at the thought of seeing my friends again tomorrow. I put my iPod in the dock and pressed shuffle. As I danced around to Last Night by The Vamps, I eventually got all my packing done, and laid out an outfit to wear tomorrow.

At 5:30 I heard the front door open. I ran downstairs to see my mum struggling with the shopping bags. I walked over to help her carry them to the kitchen.

"Hello dear," mum said once she'd put the shopping on the bench.

"Hey mum," I smiled.

"Do you mind putting the shopping away and starting with cutting up the salad?" mum asked, "I'll come help out as soon as I've had a shower."

I nodded and mum kissed my forehead gently before rushing upstairs. I decided to go get my iPod and headphones rather than being in complete silence and began putting the shopping away. I was dancing around to Alone Together by Fall Out Boy as I put the shopping away. Pretty soon I was done as we didn't have much food because we were leaving tomorrow, so I began cutting up the carrot and cucumber.

"This is a road to ruin, and we're starting at the end," I sang the last line and heard my mum cheering and laughing from behind me. I turned to see her clapping her hands so I took a bow.

Mum cooked the schnitzel while I continued cutting salad and we talked about what would be happening. I told her about how happy I was to be seeing the girls again and mum just smiled as she listened.

"I'm just glad you're happy, sweetie," mum said as she used tongs to put the now cooked schnitzel onto a plate. She was right. I hadn't been anywhere near this happy all year. Most nights I would just run up to my room after school and not come out until morning. I thought about how much this would hurt my mother but I couldn't bring myself to go downstairs and see her. For a while I slipped into such bad depression that I would go weeks without eating a single thing. I also started to cut myself. It was my way to escape the pain.

It wasn't until I was video chatting with Joey one day that I realised how bad it was. We were part way through a conversation when I passed out. Joey must have called my mother because next thing I knew, I was laying in the hospital bed. They said I fainted due to not eating for so long. I had never skipped a meal since then but I would still spend too many hours in my room. I continued to cut for months after that because the doctors didn't seem to notice. Mostly I cut my top thighs so that even when I was wearing shorts, people wouldn't notice. I had been clean for a month now but that's only because I knew I would be seeing my friends soon. That was the only thing keeping me going.

Once mum and I had finished dinner she went up to her room to do her last minute packing. I decided to go upstairs and bring all my stuff downstairs so I wouldn't forget anything in the morning. I grabbed my three bags, my handbag and my penny board and took it all downstairs.

By the time that was done, it was 9:00 so i figured I may as well go to bed. It was going to be an early morning tomorrow. I said goodnight to mum, changed into my pyjamas, and hopped into bed, slowly drifting off to sleep.

A/N

Dedicated to my friend Joey (shelookssoperf23), who was the inspiration for Tay's best friend in the story.