My Favorite Things (like kibble)

Blue Treasure

People say that us dogs can't see colors too well. The truth is, we are so bowled over by smells and sounds that we just ignore most other things. But we can see just fine. Thing is, we usually don't care.

So when I learned there was this blue bone in the neighborhood, I had to investigate. It was a lot more important to me that it be a bone, than that the treasure be blue. But, no matter. Blue bone, white bone, any kind of bone. I'm a dog. We like bones. 'Nuff said.

Where was I? Oh, yes. The treasure hunt. See, all the neighborhood dogs knew about this precious, amazing blue bone. There was Amber. She's a Golden Retriever. Just between you and me, she acts like she just fell off the kibble truck. There was Gus. He's a Pit Bull, and with the guy who owns the dry cleaner. Gus says it's a dangerous business, dry cleaning, so he snarls at all of the customers. At least, that's what he claims. There was Shannon. She's an Irish Setter. She's a few fleas shy of a swarm, if you know what I mean. And then there was Petey, who is a Jack Russell Terrier and I swear that dog should switch to decaf but you did NOT hear that from me.

Gus said he heard about the mysterious blue bone from someone who came into the dry cleaner's who was not afraid of him. It was this guy who had almost as much body art as the dry cleaner guy. The customer, he said something or other and I confess that when I first heard old Gus talking about it I thought he was losing his hearing. But Shannon said she heard about it, too. And while Shannon is not the sharpest stick in the park, I at least know she's no liar. 

I decided I would check it out, too, and that's when things got kind of freaky. See, Gus said the guy with the tattoos said something about it being in the garbage. And we were all like, Whoa! How much more delicious can you make this bone? 

That's when I decided to paw through the trash at home. Uh, more than I usually do. See, I paw through the trash whenever I can, even though I know it means a yell and, sometimes, a swat on my keister. But I do it anyway, 'cause you never know when you're gonna find something interesting. I usually just find banana peels, but once I found some of my master's papers. One of them was a bunch of numbers and it said - I think, because I'm never really sure about reading - Suzanne. At least, I think it said that because the master and the missus were screaming fighting something fierce the day before that, and the missus was yelling about this Suzanne. Then when I found the paper the master took it away from me really fast and stuffed it into his shorts.

See, I prefer the missus because she's always got food and she slips it to me. So when his shorts were thrown in the hamper - you know, the tasty-smelling place? I knocked the hamper over, stole his shorts and chewed up the paper with the numbers and what may or may not have said Suzanne. Honestly, I mean, would Suzanne hand out more kibble than the missus does? I hardly think so.

But there were no papers with numbers, no evidence of this Suzanne and no blue bone. I waited, and they were busy arguing about something or other when the missus opened the front door. Usually, she blocks it with her body, but she was distracted and so I bolted. 

I was in luck, because it was trash day. Our street is a cul-de-sac but I am technically not supposed to go past the yard. This was new territory for me. There was an outdoor trash barrel and so I knocked it over and started pawing through it. Petey came over, and asked me what I was doing, all hyper like he usually is. I just said, "Blue bone," and he started to help. Shannon came bounding over, and then Amber. They're clueless, but they did help dig. Finally, Gus sauntered out; I guess his master was busy with a customer or something. 

Anyway, he pulled out something blue and I could hear the missus calling me and Gus heard his tattooed master and he ran but he dropped the blue bone. I grabbed it and brought it back to the missus who hugged me and said I was the only one who understood her. 

Now my master sleeps on the big couch.