My Boyfriend is a Soulless Creature From Hell

No Italian

On Saturday, Derek's truck pulled up outside my door and I ran out to it excitedly. Derek sat in the driver's seat, looking at me cooly. "So," he asked, "Where are we going?"

I shrugged, and then slammed the door behind me. "I assumed you had a plan."

"You trust me." He sounded almost amused, although I wasn't sure why.

"We could go to get pizza," I suggested.

Derek shook his head as he turned the key in the ignition. "No Italian."

"Why not?"

"Too much garlic." He sneered. "They put it in everything."

"And I suppose we can't go out for steak, either," I sighed regretfully.

"Why not?" asked Derek, startled.

"Well, I thought it might... do something to your heart...?"

For a brief second I thought a look of cold disgust and contempt flickered through his eyes. Then it was gone. Nah, probably nothing. "Steaks, or even wooden stakes, don't affect me any more than they do any other person," he said blandly. "I think most people would die if they had a peg through their heart, don't you?"

The truck revved up and soon we were rolling down the road towards downtown Spoons.

We stopped at the Red Robin that sat next to the local strip mall. Derek parked the car and we got out and walked through the revolving doors into the waiting area. I was worried for a while that someone was going to notice he didn't have a reflection in the windows, but before long the waitress came to seat us. I texted Ariela.

were @ red robin

Pretty soon she texted back.

dont u think thats kind off expensive 4 a hight schooler too afford? just sayin

I texted her aggressively.

well I didnt force him too. stop being jealous

For a while, I browsed the menu. Then I looked up at Derek. He had the menu in front of his face. "Wait... so you can eat human food?" I asked.

He raised an eyebrow icily over the menu. "I can, but it doesn't give me nourishment. I'd starve on a strict diet of the stuff."

"So what do you eat then?"

He just stared at me.

Oh, right. I hurried to answer my own question. "Probably just animal blood and such, right? You seem like a decent person."

He smiled toothily. "Right."

I smiled back as I examined his glassy eyes and porcelain countenance. He looked more like a vampire than ever. If this had been a romance novel, we would already be making out by now.

This last thought caused me to frown a little bit. Maybe I was doing something wrong.