Of Two Minds

Guilt Trip

I danced over to them, in a party mood, "Haayyy!! Come on Tay let's dance", I grabbed her hand and pulled her back over to the dance floor. I looked over at Lautner, and he looked back with his eyebrows raised, shaking his head as in "Wow, I can totally see you're jealous" I'm not jealous Lautner! Of you? Pft, please.

When we got back home, I was knocked out, immediately running to Luke's bed to sleep. I didn't even bother to remove my makeup, or put on my pajamas. I just took off my mini dress and hopped into the bed, wearing only my underwear. All of my friends returned home after the party, except Tay, who had decided to sleep over.

In the morning, I lounged on the couch, a bit of a headache from the drinking I did last night. Tay came down, with her purse. "Morning Sel."

"Morning", I smiled, "Ugh, why do you have to leave today?"

"I gotta get back to school. I have a paper due in two days."

I sighed. Taylor came downstairs."Hey", he smirked at Tay.

"Hi", she said sweetly, her smile reaching her ears on both sides and her eyes all twinkly and shit. I gazed at Taylor, and then at Tay. My eyes moved back in forth between them, in confusion. Taylor left the room, still leaving me puzzled.

"Why are you beaming so hard Tay?"

"What?" she asked as if she had no idea what I was talking about.

"What went on with you two?" I asked. I gasped aloud when it clicked to me, "Oh my gosh, please don't tell me you did him", I sat up quickly, in bewilderment. She stayed quiet and stared down at the floor. Her cheeks did turn pink.

"Taylor?!?!"She nodded her head."Oh my gosh! What's wrong with you?? You do realize he's a player, right? He's just wants you for sex."

"We were just having fun, Selena, nothing serious." Wow that's funny. That's exactly what he told me. "We aren't dating or anything", she continued, "It was a one time thing."

"And you're okay with that?', I asked. This was unlike Tay, she wouldn't have a one night stand with anybody. She wasn't even the type to take it that far with somebody, until they've like known each other forever.

"Yeah. He's cool.", then her voice lowered to a whisper, "And he's... totally awesome in be-""Yeah, I know that", I cut her off without thinking, in a little of an ill-mannered way.

"...You know that? How do you know that?", her blue eyes widen, "You fucked him too???!!?, she smiled in astonishment. "No!", I denied it abruptly. But she knew I was lying. She could always tell when I was guilty about something. "You did!", she beamed, "When? Oh my gosh, does your boyfriend know?", she sat on the couch next to me.

"Do you think he would be my boyfriend if he knew?", I asked her.

"True. True"

"And you won't say anything about this Tay", I stared at her, seriously.

"Don't you think I know that Selena? I know how to keep my mouth shut."I knew I could trust her. I was just making sure, for my own sanity. "Oh my gosh, you're a bad girl. You're not a cheater, you don't cheat." she frowned slightly.

"I know I don't...but I did. I don't know what it is, about his brother. He does something to me, and I don't like it, but then again, I do like it."

"His dick game is pretty strong," she shrugged. As serious as this was I could help but let out a laugh. "It's not just that Taylor," I cried.

"Maybe it's love", she sang.

"It's not love. I don't love him, well at least I don't think I do. I don't wanna love him, I wanna love Luke, because he's my boyfriend." I poured my feelings out to her.

"Well Sel, I don't know what to tell you. But I know that you need to choose one of them, you can't keep sneaking with one behind the other's back. I don't wanna make you feel guilty, but you already know how it feels to be cheated on, you wouldn't want to hurt someone else."

"Well thanks! You're making me feel more guilty!" I threw my hands up before grasping onto my forehead.

"Sorry Sel. Don't worry, you'll work it out. Come on, let's hug it out now, cause I gotta hit the road."

"You don't want a ride?", I asked her, even though I wasn't really in the mood to go out anywhere.

"Nah, Austin's outside. He's gonna take me back to the campus." And as if on cue, a loud horn blared outside.I gave Tay a tight, long hug. I wasn't gonna see her for another long while, and I was gonna miss her like crazy. I walked her to the car and greeted her brother, who sat in the driver's seat.

"What's the rush Austin?", I referred to his impatient beeping, "Not like you have somewhere to be", I joked.

"Ha ha, real funny Selena."

"Bye guys", I waved them off, blowing kisses to Tay. When the car turned the corner, I thought, 'Now it's time to go mad.'