Carnal - Kyōtani x Reader -Haikyuu!!

Fifteen

I'm so sorry, girl...I'm so fucking sorry…

I could hear fast paced footsteps approaching the lake where I sat, but I didn't bother to lift my head. Nobody needed to see me like this. Silence, footsteps, more silence, before the sounds of twigs snapping under shoes quickly came closer.

“(Y/N)-Chan…” His voice was unmistakable and strained with rapid breaths, signifying he had been running. I couldn't look up and just squeezed my face further into my knees, hugging my legs closer. The boy didn't utter another word as he sat down next to me. The comfort of silence is far stronger than that of words, and I could tell by his understanding that he knew what had happened. The droning chirps of crickets hummed in the darkness, a painful excuse for white noise partnered with our irregular breathing. It was easily an hour or so before I finally managed to scrape my voice up from the furthest reaches of my dry, scratchy throat.

“It's my fault…” The sound that came out didn't seem to be mine. It was weak and pitiful.

“No it's not…” Kyōtani said softly, shifting on the moist grass.

“If I had trained her better...she wouldn't have tried to follow me...she's dead now...and it's my fault…” My head lifted and I turned to look at the boys silhouette; the glow of the moon only just managing to keep his facial features visible. There was no anger or agitation. Just worry.

“It's not your fault, (Y/N)-Chan…” He said it louder this time, turning and rummaging through his school bag, which he had thrown down beside him when he sat. He pulled out his club jacket, draping it over my shoulders. That's when I noticed I had been shivering; clutching at it, pulling the sides closed around my chest.

“Her...body...it was...it was all m..mangled...and...too much b..blood…” I whispered, feeling the tears pounding on the backs of my eyes again. “At the vet...they said she was gonna d..die..anyway...but...even with the pain in her eyes….and her crying...I wanted to be..be selfish...I wanted her to l..live somehow...but then she...she ended up...d..d..dying in my..my...arms…”

My body rattled with sobs now, and my face was once again wet with tears. The zipper trail of his jacket dug deep into my palms as I grasped it in my hands, and I was long past keeping myself together. Kyōtani didn't hesitate in reaching out, roughly dragging me into his arms and wrapping me close against his warm, firm chest.

“Cry. I'm here, (Y/N)...” He whispered, and I obliged. I grabbed his shirt and clung to him for dear life as I wailed and hiccuped through my emotions. With one hand around my back and one gently stroking my hair, he just sat there and held me close, occasionally letting out slow, soothing hushes to calm me. After a while he gently reached over to my backpack and grabbed my phone, tinkering for a moment before pulling it to his ear.

“Hello, (L/N)-San? It's me. I found her. I'll bring her home when she's ready. Okay. No problem. Bye…” I could only assume he called one of my parents, and I shoved myself deeper into his body, shivering and shaking from my now soundless crying.

“I'm sorry…” I forced a whisper, unable to look him in the eye.

“Shut up. Don't say that.” He turned me around and placed a leg either side of me so that my back was against his chest, arms still wrapped tightly around my torso. “Just sit here until you feel like going home…” He sounded so mature and kind, and it made me feel different.

My heart hurt more than the rest of my body, but it seemed to ease as I focused on the rise and fall of his breathing, syncing my own to it is we sat staring out at the stagnant lake. With his cheek resting on the top of my head, he absently stroked his finger along the creases of my soiled shirt, just like he had done when he carried me home that one night. It was all the introverted teen could think of to comfort me, and that was all I needed.

Time passed by and before we knew it, it was late. Very late. I was the first to break the silence, turning my head to look up into his face. He was contented with a neutral expression, glancing down into my puffy eyes. The moonlight flickered on his amber irises, making them glow like the embers of a homely fireplace.

“Ken-Kun…” I murmured his name. It was like honey dripping from my tongue. His skin was dusted a faded pink, but his muscles were relaxed under my back.

“Mmm?” He hummed in response, pulling me just a little bit closer. Slowly, entranced by his entire being, I craned my neck so that my nose was touching his. Our lips brushed together and he made no move to retreat; just stared straight back into my eyes as our breath merged together in visible clouds of heat.

Blame it on my despair, or the fact that I was so captivated by his moonlit form, but I dared to close the gap between our lips. The cold surrounding us was swept away by a blazing warmth, and my chest wasn't quite as hollow anymore. There was no stiff movement, and Kyōtani kissed me back gently, raising his hand to caress the side of my neck. Our pulses drummed in unison as his chapped lips fought away my pain. I almost fell back into him when he pulled away, coughing awkwardly and hiding his red face.

“I..I should get you home…” He said quickly, standing up. When his arms left my body I felt too open and vulnerable, like losing a part of myself.

“O..okay…” I whispered, climbing to my feet and bending to take my bag. He swiftly snatched it from my hands, swinging it over his shoulder along with his and throwing his arm over my slouched shoulders. We walked slowly, trudging across the damp, mossy earth towards the faint glimmer of street lights. I leant against his side, trying to absorb as much warmth as possible before we had to part ways.

I'm not thinking straight...I kissed him...I just flat out kissed him and he's probably gonna hate me…

I was too caught up in my thoughts to realise we had already stopped in front of my house.

“(Y/N)-Chan…” I turned to the voice that snapped me out of my trance. Kyōtani pulled me into another hug, tight and protective. Each beat of his heart merged together like the thrum of an engine, fast and loud against my cheek.

“Ken-Kun…” I held him, and I didn't want to let go. I wasn't done with my crying. I wasn't done with having him hold and comfort me. I wasn't done with his presence altogether.

“It's past midnight. I need to get home...but…” I almost forgot to breathe as he planted a soft, lingering kiss on the top of my head. “...I need to know that you'll be okay…” He sounded uncertain of his choice of words, so I squeezed him tighter, clutching the loose material of his sweaty sports shirt.

“I will be...thanks to you…” I murmured, gazing up into his face. A face that I cherished more than ever in this moment. He took a deep breath as he gave me another quick squeeze and stepped back, handing me my bag he had shrugged off his shoulder.

“I'll see you when you come back to school…” He said with an uneasy nod, turning and slowly walking down the street, leaving me standing in front of my home, feeling lost and confused beyond believe. I watched after his shadowed form until long after he disappeared from sight.

I made a mistake...didn't I?

***ALL the angst and sadness! Sorry, but the dog had to go hahaha I hated writing that but I had to force the sake of dramallamarama!***