50 Shades Darker

Chapter 2

I step into the bathroom and prepare to take my shower and get ready for the day. Once all my clothes are off I step into the shower and hang my head low letting the warm water trail down my back. My eyes close and my mind roams further than I've let it over these past few weeks.

All the things we did. All the things I let him do. All the places I let him take me. This was my fault. I allowed myself to fall for a man I knew I could never have. A man that would never trust me with his secrets let alone his heart. I was a fool to believe that I would ever be enough for him. I was a fool to believe  I could change who he had groomed himself to be. Or how Mr. Tomlinson had groomed him to be. The thought of him makes my toes curl in displeasure. What if they've been seeing each other while Harry and I've been apart? I let the tears mix in with the water dripping from the faucet.

He was right.

He is fifty shades of fucked up.

And yet I have not found a way to love him any less than I did that fateful night.

How could I let myself fall in love with him. For God's sake when I first met him he gave me a contract to sign. And yet somehow here I stand half a man with a broken heart that is screaming out to be whole again. I shake out my wet hair and step out of the shower grabbing a towel wrapping it around my waist.

I go to my closet and pull out one of my suits and lay it out on the bed. I set my phone down and start playing Beethoven throughout the room. He's slowly become one of my favorite composers and somehow he manages to keep my calm. I slowly start to dress myself swaying along with the flowing music. Once I am fully dressed and pleased with my appearance I grab my phone stopping the music. I slip it into my pocket and leave my room shutting the door behind me.

I step foot into SIP headquarters and the first person to greet me is Jack. "Niall good morning!" He nods towards me and I send him a small wave.

"Good morning Jack. Anything I can get you?" I raise an eyebrow and he smiles shaking his head.

"As soon as I do need something though Niall, you will be the first person I tell. I promise." He sends me a small wink and I tilt my head to in confusion. Why did he-Oh! Lord no please. I don't need any type of romance in my life right now. None what's so ever.

 I quickly exit his office and shut the door behind me. I take in a small breath before returning to my office down the hall. I shut that door as well and walk over to my desk taking a seat. Jack has yet to give me any work to do but I decide to use the free time to my advantage. I log into my email and see that Harry has replied.

_____

To: Niall Horan
From: Harry Styles
Subject: Thursday

I will need an answer by Thursday. I do hope this is enough time for you to lock down your plans. I do wish to see you again though Mr. Horan. These past few weeks have been interesting...and after your storming out I do believe that we have some things to speak about.

_____

Storming out? He says it as if I was not justified to walk away from him that night. After everything I would have been out of my mind to stay with him another second. His email infuriates me and I can't help myself, I respond deciding to give him everything I've been holding back so long.

_____

To: Harry Styles
From: Niall Horan
 Subject: Excuse Yourself

Perhaps your large ego has clouded your memory. Shall I fill you in on why I left since you are clearly incapable of putting the pieces together yourself? Do not sit there and pretend that I was wrong to leave you the way I did.  You are a vile man who finds pleasure in hurting the select few people that actually care about you. If that's how you insist on treating me then I do not wish for you to email me again. Leave me be and let me move on. Now Mr. Styles I do believe that we both have work to do, Good day.

_____

I quickly log out of my email not wanting to speak to him anymore. At least not for the rest of the day. How could he say that I stormed out? I decided to be an adult and make a decision that would benefit us both, and yet he still chooses to treat me like a child.

I tug on the ends of my hair out of frustration and Jack knocks on my door causing me to look up.

"Niall I was wondering if you could file some of these papers for me." He holds up two large stacks of papers and I nod eagerly. Anything that will keep my distracted from what just took place is better than nothing. He smiles and steps into my office setting the papers on my desk. "If you're confused on where anything goes come and find me and I will walk you through it."

I nod and stand up from my seat hoping that I will not be needing his assistance. I can see the way he's looking at me and I already can guess what he wants from me. Not something that I'm going to give him that's for sure.

~*~

When lunch times rolls around I am happy to have gotten all the filing done. I decided to take a small walk for my lunch break knowing that I won't be eating much for lunch today. Once I am out of the building I am happy to find the sun shining. I take small steps down the side walk letting the sun warm my cool skin.

I walk down the street happy to be on my own. With all the people scattered around me the noise is so loud I can't hear myself think. It's rather soothing at the moment. I cross the street and make my way towards the park. I buy myself an apple from a local vender and bite into it. This should be enough lunch for me.

When the work day is over I finally find myself sinking into the couch in my living room. Liam is nowhere to be found at the moment. I'm sure that he's out with Edward planning their trip. Though I am sad to see him go I'm glad that he and Edward are doing so well. I'm happy to see that at least one of Styles boys can be in a normal relationship. Seeing them happy does shed me some amount of joy. Not much but it's something.

I flip through the channels on TV knowing that there is nothing on that will hold my interests. I'm not much of a TV person come to think of it. I get up and walk over to the bookshelf grabbing Pride and the Prejudice off the shelf. Maybe I can lose myself in the wonderful love story that is Mr. Darcy and Elizabeth. I sit down is the small chair placed near the window and curl up pulling a blanket over me. I open the book and begin reading.

Just as I'm about to get to where Elizabeth and Mr. Darcy meet for the first time the doorbell rings. I look down at my watch seeing that it's nearing 9. Who could be ringing my doorbell at this hour? I stand up wrapping the blanket around my shoulders like a little old woman. I'm certain I'm turning into my grandmother. I walk over to the door and unlock it. I open it seeing that he's standing there. Tie around his neck, hair wet from the rain, and a bottle of champagne in his hand.

"About that email Mr. Horan." He mutters before taking a step towards me.

***********

Fuuuucccckkkkk

Why did I make this chapters so fucking long.