High Country Christmas

Chapter Twenty-One All of Me

This story is R13 for a reason, has a 'R' rated scene.

I had to recover quickly, how can I face him so soon?

Glancing down at my bag and adjusting the zip on the front pocket of my jacket needlessly, I forced a smile into my voice, "Hi, this is a surprise."

Ali frowned, "I thought Leah was going to give you a call about me staying here tonight."

"Ah, she did, we chatted for awhile," I would get no acting awards for this I realised as I faked a look of concentration. "She might have mentioned something about you popping over." I moved towards the door, expecting him to step aside, when he didn't I made the mistake of looking up at him, and his eyes caught me, and a sharp feeling of desire shot through me.  It was hard to face that  I still wanted him just as much,  after all the hours of trying to get my head together, but I realised that I had let myself become vulnerable to him and I had promised myself not to let that happen  again.

Jokingly, with a smile on my face I brightly said, "Now I need to get going, so I will  leave you to a quiet night in."

I noticed a smirk on his face as he leant back against the door, fully blocking my exit, "Is there anything I can say that would tempt you to change you mind and stay in with me?"

"Seriously?"  I couldn't fully disguise the hurt in my voice. "Why would I want to do that?"

But he clearly heard it, and it seemed to shake his confidence a little. "Please? I need to talk to you. Please."  He leant in closer, when I didn't move he gently reached for my arms, running his hands down, and taking my bag gently from my grasp.  I heard it drop to the floor, but I was fighting the urge to lean into Ali so much I hardly noticed.  Pushing out of his hold and moving strongly in the direction of the kitchen I matter-of-factly said, "Sure, why not. What are you up to over here anyway.  Who is minding Thea?"

The tumble of questions left my lips as I filled the kettle and put it on, and readied the coffee. I turned to look at him with raised eyebrows, feeling more in control of myself now. 

"Are you going to let me talk?" He was borderline patronising which did nothing for my temper, that I was trying to hold in check.

"Talk? Go for it.  Although I think I pretty much heard all you have to say.  You were going to leave the Station, now you're not.  All good.  I am just not sure what else you want to add. I hit all the main points didn't I?"

I saw a flash of anger in his eyes, and he couldn't hide the disappointed shake of his head as if he had fully expected that this would not be easy.

"I know what I did was wrong.  I was reacting, and yes, I admit I was over reacting.  I thought I deserved to go without again, I thought about the pain I felt at leaving the Station, Mum and Dad, and.." he paused waiting, I looked back up at him.  His eyes caught mine and wouldn't let go. The air thickening and I knew that I was in serious trouble with him here.

 "Most importantly, You. How could I deserve any better than this pain?  You have seen how angry I am, and Daniel has worn that almost all my life.  I couldn't loose Thea, and right then I needed to put some distance between myself and the place that in my mind had caused that,"  His voice was rising and he started to move towards me. "What did you want me to do?  Before you appeared in the doorway that morning, all sorts of scenarios had played through my head.  Taking   you with me...  Asking you, ...and everytime it ended the same.  You having to choose between something that we might have, and the relationship you have with Mum and Dad." 

I backed against the wide kitchen servery, with the view towards the sitting room and the windows to the lake behind me.  But Ali hadn't taken his eyes from mine. As he came closer his voice dropped.