When it all started

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One Halloween night, a couple years ago, I was… not myself. It was strange. thinking back, it makes so much sense now.  There was this feeling I got on my friend’s front steps. I was alone with a boy. It was a blind date, and we had a lot of fun. I had the feeling of confidence, smoothness. When I talked to him on that cool night, I flirted with a purr.

I don't remember what we talked about, but I remember the energy. It was like I was possessed, except I could feel the slyness and the intention in every step I took. Everything I said, every action I did, I knew my purpose, but i never had that kind of confidence. I felt different, and with every word that came out of my mouth, I felt like I was watching a scene with the best seats in the theater.

That wasn't the only time I acted different. I remember times in school where I wanted that confidence, and then everything changed.  My thoughts were different and they echoed in my mind. The way I walked was unusual. Heel toe, heel toe, with good posture, and a raised head.

I admit I loved this new me. How I spoke smoothly, how every breath and heartbeat was all I felt, as this second person acted for me.

I thought I was just acting. It wasn't until the character I acted, started taking my memories, and forced me out so they could do what they wanted.

This woman was ruthless

So i named the first personality I ever had.

Ruth

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