Letters Of The Founding

to and from with john laurens

The letters excerpted here begin in 1779 when Hamilton was twenty-two and Laurens was twenty-five. Both young revolutionaries were part of that close male circle surrounding General Washington--his "family," as the general called them. 

The American Revolution was in progress; John Laurens had left camp for South Carolina, hoping to be authorized by that colony's assembly to organize battalions of Black slaves to fight the British. 

In April, 1779, Hamilton writes to him:

Cold in my professions, warm in [my] friendships, I wish, my Dear Laurens, it m[ight] be in my power, by action rather than words, [to] convince you that I love you. I shall only tell you that 'till you bade us Adieu, I hardly knew the value you had taught my heart to set upon you. Indeed, my friend, it was not well done. You know the opinion I entertain of mankind, and how much it is my desire to preserve myself free from particular attachments, and to keep my happiness independent on the caprice of others. You sh[ould] not have taken advantage of my sensibility to ste[al] into my affections without my consent. But as you have done it and as we are generally indulgent to those we love, I shall not scruple to pardon the fraud you have committed, on condition that for my sake, if not for your own, you will always continue to merit the partiality, which you have so artfully instilled into [me].[2]

Forwarding several letters which had arrived from Laurens' wife, Hamilton continues:

And Now my Dear as we are upon the subject of wife, I empower and command you to get me one in Carolina. Such a wife as I want will, I know, be difficult to be found, but if you succeed, it will be the stronger proof of your zeal and dexterity. Take her description--She must be young, handsome (I lay most stress upon a good shape) sensible (a little learning will do), well bred, chaste and tender (I am an enthusiast in my notions of fidelity and fondness). But as to fortune, the larger stock of that the better.... Though I run no risk of going to Purgatory for my avarice, yet as money is an essential ingredient to happiness in this world--as I have not much of my own and as I am very little calculated to get more either by my address or industry; it must needs be, that my wife, if I get one, bring at least a sufficiency to administer to her own extravagances. N[ota] B[ene] [Note Well] You will be pleased to recollect in your negotiations that I have no invincible antipathy to the maidenly beauties & that I am willing to take the trouble of them upon myself.

If you should not readily meet with a lady that you think answers my description you can only advertise in the public papers and doub[t]less you will hear of many ... who will be glad to become candidates for such a prize as I am. To excite their emulation, it will be necessary for you to give an account of the lover--his size, make, quality of mind and body, achievements, expectations, fortune, &c. In drawing my picture, you will no doubt be civil to your friend; mind you do justice to the length of my nose and don't forget, that I [- - - - - -].

Here approximately five words are illegible due to mutilation of the original manuscript (the words have actually been cut out). The deleted words were certainly explicitly sexual, as Hamilton's reference to "the length of my nose" was clearly a joking allusion to the length of his penis. A long history (pun intended) links nose size and penis size, and penis size with associations of virility and fertility.[3]

Hamilton continues:

After reviewing what I have written, I am ready to ask myself what could have put it into my head to hazard this Jeu de follie [maddness game]. Do I want a wife? No--I have plagues enough without desiring to add to the number that greatest of all; and if I were silly enough to do it, I should take care how I employ a proxy. Did I mean to show my wit? If I did, I am sure I have missed my aim. Did I only intend to [frisk]? In this I have succeeded, but I have done more. I have gratified my feelings, by lengthening out the only kind of intercourse now in my power with my friend. Adieu