Random Namjin : knj x ksj

Dieciséis: Namjin

I look into his watery eyes. "Kim Namjoon, you stupid, stupid man. I love you, silly." he says straddling my lap.

Before I can return the ily his lips are on mine.

I know we're not in the best place right now. But the way he moves his hips onto mine I can't help but want to bend him over the bed and pound into him. His lips move in sync with mine. His tongue still has this unique sweetness to them.

My hands move to his ass and I squeeze the not so round mounds. He moans into my mouth. I pull away due to lack of air with a frown. He looks at me through dilated eyes.

"Babe? What happened to your ass?" I say running my hands all over his back and body.

"What do you mean?" he asks, avoiding eye contact, his cheeks burning with embarrassment.

"Love have you lost weight? Yes you have, dramatically!" I can practically feel his butt bones.

"Are you trying to say you don't love my ass because it's not fat any more?!" he frowns and I kiss his pout.

"No baby you could be 110 kgs overweight or 50kgs underweight and I'll still love you and your body the same. It's just that it's not healthy for you to lose weight like that. I can practically feel your bones. Why haven't you been eating or taking care of yourself?" I ask feeling a little annoyed that he's not been treating himself well.

"Why you ask? Namjoon we broke up. For an IQ as high as yours you're real dense." he rolls his eyes at me.

"So? You didn't take care of yourself because we fell apart? So tomorrow if something happens to us or to me you'll throw yourself to the dogs? A jinjja baboyeyo! You're always like that Jin, you never listen to me, always doing what you want! You're always like this. It's always about others, you don't care about yourself! What about putting yourself first-" he cuts me off by pecking my lips.

"I don't need to care about myself when I have someone caring about me so much." he says with an amused smile. "Besides, you have no right to say anything to me because you've not been any better. Don't think I've not noticed how insomniac you've become. Last night was the first time you've slept well in days. So don't you point fingers at me." he says sternly and I look at him sheepishly.

"Besides this was bound to happen Joon. I couldn't cook or eat or even be myself. More than the break up it was the reason for the break up. I had nightmares for quite a while-"

"Why didn't you tell me? You know what? I don't understand. You stopped cooking, eating and talking to the boys the way you used to all because of me. I gave you nightmares. I promised to love protect and cherish you. I did none of that. Why are you still with me Jinnie? I don't deserve you. You deserve better." my voice quivers.

"Because I love you and I know you Kim Namjoon. You wouldn't ever willingly hurt me. I just wish you had trusted me enough to tell me what was bothering you. What hurts more than you forcing yourself on me was you not thinking I was capable enough to share your burdens. A relationship isn't just about one person. I know I'm childish and annoying and my jokes are lame but I'm not stupid. I'm not a push over. I'm not immature to the point that things have to be hidden from me.

My father always saw my brother as someone who could handle the business and me as an advertisement asset. I know why he must have thought it's better off not to tell me. Deep down I didn't want to accept it but it's true, I'm just the son he's not proud of. But it's okay, cause I love my father.

The boys love and respect me because I'm their hyung but I know there are times they're embarrassed by me but that's okay cause I'm older than them behaving like someone way younger than them. I get it.