your friends will ask with concerned smiles
and backhanded remarks
that they miss your ghost
and wonder at night where your soul goes.
your parents will keep loving you
but every rejected hug and kiss will burn like ice
and even they, who love you unconditionally,
recognize the signs of something radioactive and bubbling over.
your many lovers will ask you to stay
and question why you never feel the same flesh twice
when even they, the heartbreakers, wouldn’t mind
just one extra time.
you will nod your head
and tell them all that you’re fine
because you’re simply walking the road
and don’t have time for a pitstop.
you will tell yourself that it doesn’t hurt
because punishment only affects the good
yet you know even the wicked will be mourned by someone
but that’s all walled off in time.
you will continue to walk this path
and every branch that loops back to the beginning
you will reject
because you can’t stand to start over.
you can’t stand to face your demons
starting with the one in the mirror.
A/N: I wrote this like two months ago and never posted it because of how dark it ending up being. Regardless... somehow I am now, anyways.
