Haven't You?

The confession

Sorry it's a little bit long but I hope you like it!

"Jane?"

Lisbon is about to enter the attic when Jane stumbles out and onto her, he smells strongly of alcohol and he can hardly stand up straight. Lisbon hurries to push him off of her and he mumbles an apology.

She crosses her arms looking irritated but concerned at the same time.

"Just where do you think you're going?"

"Away-faraway."

He tries to walk towards the stairs but loses his balance and she catches him before he falls.

"How about I take you to my office?"

"No. Liz I need to leaf."

Jane gets closer to her and runs his hand through her hair.

"Stay...away."

"No. You are going to my house and you are not allowed to leave until you're better."

"But-"

"Stop it. Do you have a change of clothes here?"

He simply nods and she enters the attic eventually finding one of his many suits and takes it with her. Jane doesn't resist when she lets him lean on her and help him down the stairs.

---

When they reach her house she eases him onto the couch and hands him a bucket.

"Let's wait until you're done and then you can clean up."

Lisbon rubs his back.

"Are you cold?"

Jane is just about to reply but gets interrupted when he lets it all out. The poor thing is shaking so she covers him with a blanket.

"Why do this for me?"

Lisbon plants a kiss on his forehead.

"Well, I love you, now go take a shower it'll help you feel better."

"I-I'm to dizzy."

She gently rubs his back.

"Is there anything I can do?"

Jane gently touches her face and she stills, his hand goes from her forehead to her cheek to her chin.

"You are a china doll."

Lisbon takes hold of his hand trying to ignore the feelings that he just unearthed.

"Excuse me?"

"You're beautiful and intense but so fragile. One wrong move and you break."

He thinks she's beautiful?

"I need to leave, so you won't break."

Oh that's why he wants to leave so badly! To keep her safe. But he's fading fast now and falls into a drunken sleep on her couch. Lisbon carefully covers him with a blanket and silently gets rid of the bucket, she needs to process this.

---

Jane was a little out of sorts when he woke up, where is he exactly? Is this really Lisbon's house or is he still drunk?

"You woke up."

Lisbon gives him a warm smile.

"What happened exactly?"

She raises an eyebrow.

"Seriously? The great Patrick Jane doesn't know what happened?"

Was it bad? Although when he thinks about it, being in Lisbon's care is amazing so who cares if it was bad? After all, she's not one to tolerate bad behavior so he must have done something right!

"Uh actually I already know I just want to hear it from you."

She sits next to him on the couch but keeps some distance from him. That is Lisbon for you, staying strong by shutting people out. It was sad really, she is so beautiful and intense and amazing that he wanted to keep her all to himself. It was a selfish thought but he loved her and just the thought of someone hurting her would set him off. She's to precious to him, she really is the light of his world.

He snaps out of it once she starts talking.

"Well I decided to check on you and you stumbled out of the attic completely drunk to the point where you couldn't even stand. So I brought you here."

"Why not your office?"

Lisbon frowns.

"You nearly fell down the stairs, you were constantly saying that you have to leave so I panicked a little and brought you here."

Oh crap she knew about that? It hurts him but he has to leave and search for RJ by himself so that she would stay unharmed. A stupid idea but it would have worked!

"I'm sorry."

"It's okay, I haven't had visitors in a long time. By the way I have your spare change of clothes, they should still be on the chair."

The realization of him smelling like alcohol was embarrassing and he quickly excused himself to take a shower. Lisbon laughs a little, Jane was so adorable in every awkward situation he got himself into.

When he was done and in fresh non-alcohol smelling clothes he follows the scent of eggs and biscuits.

"What are you making?"

As if he didn't already know.

"Eggs and biscuits."

She's being oddly quiet and he can tell that there's something hidden underneath.

"Did I do something...wrong when I was intoxicated?"

Lisbon begins placing the eggs on their plates.

"You called me beautiful. Beautiful and intense. But also fragile. In fact, you were so afraid of breaking me that you chose to leave me."

"..."

She doesn't look at him as she takes the biscuits out of the oven.

"But the thing is, there's a flaw in your escape plan."

He's almost afraid to ask.

"What would that be?"

"You can't break something that's already broken."

Handing him two biscuits she decides to head to the table but Jane has already set his plate down and stops her.

"Already broken?"

Lisbon's breathing is labored as if she's about to cry and it occurs to him that maybe he unlocked something he shouldn't have. Why does he always ask questions when he already knows the answer!? Of course she's broken, her mother died in a car accident and her abusive father committed suicide. No one loved her, no one was there to keep her safe. His angel had to take the hits for her brothers, grow up when she was so young, everything. And he was dumb enough to ask her why she was already broken.

Lisbon is blinking fiercely, trying to keep the tears from falling but failing. She crosses her arms and looks away, letting her walls come up.

"I just don't understand.-she says a little choked up- I don't trust you at all, you're just like everybody else. I've always ended up alone so you running away shouldn't affect me."

Lisbon starts wiping away her tears which are streaming down her face and Jane immediately wraps his arms around her. For some reason she laughs but gets choked up.

"But then you'll hold me and I feel so safe, like everything's going to be okay."

"Shhh, it will be okay. I was wrong to try to leave you and I'm sorry. And as for you not understanding? I think that you've been so alone that you don't know how to take comfort. And I'm not like the everybody else. I won't leave you alone okay?"

She lets out a sigh and starts to calm down.

"How do you know that?"

"Because, I love you."

Teresa is caught off guard,did he really just-Jane kisses her softly and she can't think anymore. One of his hands go down to her waist while the other one goes up her back gently pushing her up against him. She starts kissing him back, for once in her life she is completely at peace.