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The Girl and The Genie

AN: Wtf I posted this before and then I woke up and it was gone ummm.... I'm sorry if you read this already but I'd still love feedback cuz wattpad might have fucking deleted this chapter and I'm actually really mad.

Cats are assholes.

But I appreciate them.

People who cut other people off on the road are assholes.

I don't appreciate them.

But you know who the biggest assholes are? No, no not the hardcore republicans, no, not the racists and homophobes, although they do cut it close and seem to be the hardcore republicansYou .

No, the biggest assholes are genies.

You know those shitty ass spirits in myths that grant three wishes and are trapped in a tiny ass lamp?

Yeah, they're assholes.

No it isn't a myth.

I looked over at my genie, Tony, who was laying on the grass with me by my side, hands underneath his thick head of dark hair.

Good thing about him was that he was insanely attractive with silver, greenish eyes, long lashes, a sharp jawline, tan, sun kissed skin blessed from the gods and a heavy, charming New Yorker accent.

Bad thing was, his appearance was the only fucking good thing.

Tony was a dick.

I looked over at Tony who was lighting up a cigar.

Extra ass is too good for a basic fucking cig.

"You're a dick." I blatantly stated to him with a straight face, voicing out my own thoughts.

He didn't so much as even glance my way as he puffed a bit of smoke from the fucking cancer stick tucked between his lips, ignoring me and looking out at the horizon ahead of us.

"Yeah, well," he began, squinting at the horizon, puffs of smoke leaving his lips every time he parted them to speak as I braced myself for whatever scum comeback he had for me.

"Least I'm not a chick who's got a dick Judy." Tony responded in an unbothered, laid back tone that made me clench my jaw slightly at his words when he took another drag of his cigar.

His silver eyes finally shifted to me with a glint of amusement, the corner of his lip quirking up, pleased at the way I was glaring at him as he propped his head up with his elbow.

"You fuck, I wished to not get periods anymore and you gave me balls." I snapped at him in irritation.

Yes, that's right.

I now have a dick.

I've only looked down at it once.

I got it five minutes ago when he "granted" my wish.

It's been five minutes since I've calmed myself down from my panic attack and decided to collect myself by laying on the grass where Tony joined me like he didn't just give me a fucking sex change.