The Diary (Phan)

Chapter Eleven

The (almost) end.

Trigger warning.

I walked to Phil's house today, I was ready to kiss my lovely boyfriend. It was Wednesday, three more days until he let himself go. I couldn't stop him. I wanted to.

I looked at the door. I wondered if his parents were home, there was no car outside, so I thought they weren't, but his mother was the one who opened the door. "Well hello, who might you be?" She asked.

"Dan, a... friend of Phil's, is he home." With that, she shrugged and let me inside.

"Phil, your friend is here!" She yelled up the stairs, and when there was no answer, I ran up them, trying to see which one was him. I looked in every room until I came to the one at the end of the hall on the right. I opened the door to something that I would never want to see.

My boyfriend was laying on the floor by his bed, his body was limp, and his wrists were slit. There were other cuts that he must have done before he slit them. He was there in only his shirt and boxers, and there was so much blood, it pooled around him on the hardwood flooring. There was a piece of paper that I saw from the doorway with my name on it.

I went over to it, and opened it.

Danny, my baby.

I couldn't think of anything else to say, so I thought of the last song I listened to.

Please, don't take this out on me,
'Cause you're the only thing that's keeping me alive.
And I don't wanna wait for the down-set date
'Cause I would rather end it all tonight.
And if I mean anything to you,
I'm sorry, but I've made up my mind.

The one who loved you the most,

Philly

I nearly choked reading this, and I wanted to scream, at least call an ambulance, but the next thing I knew, I was on the floor past out.

PHIL'S POV (I know, I'm cruel)

I sat on my floor by my bed, I was ready, I couldn't wait until Friday, and I knew I promised, but I couldn't do this anymore. I know that when you get the one you love, you're supposed to get magically better, but I didn't. I didn't know if I wanted to, either.

I took my jacket and jeans off. I looked at my disgusting self mutilated skin, and scoffed. You're so weak. I told myself and took the razor to my skin.

Pathetic

A loser

A loner

Unwanted

My mind didn't fail at making me feel more like shit than I already had. I took the razor to every clean spot on my arms and legs. Then I sucked in a deep breath before slitting both wrists. I was so excited. I could finally be out of here.

"Goodbye Dan, you were the only thing that almost made life worth living."

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This isn't the end just yet. Just so you know, there will be no happier ending like I did in help. I appreciate everyone who stayed with me through this. And everyone who voted or commented has made my day.

(and by the way, that song was Bulls in the Bronx by Pierce the Veil, my favorite by them... I'll shut up now.)