The Diary (Phan)

Chapter Five

PHIL'S POV

I smiled at Dan, although I was having a nervous breakdown, how was I supposed to do this? I mean, he had my goddamned suicide note. I actually was going to do it. One week from today, actually, Friday night, and I guess I was just hoping that Dan would quickly realize that it was my journal and save me.

Pathetic, right?

I still couldn't believe that he was the one that got it. What luck, right?

I didn't know why I had become a stuttering mess when I came over to him. It was easy to talk to him before. I suddenly got an idea to ask something, something from one of my entries.

"What's your middle name?" He looked at me strangely, but answered anyway.

"James, yours?" He smirked, but there was something more behind it and I was dying to know what that was.

"Michael." I muttered, he mustn't have noticed, so I tried to think of something else to ask. Instead, I brought up our encounter in the toilets. "I'm sorry you had to see that earlier." I whispered.

"Why?" He asked, genuinely sounding concerned.

"'Why' what?"

"Why do you do it." He was staring at my covered arms. I had ripped into the flesh of both of them, but not too deeply, my sweatshirt was light blue, I couldn't bleed through it.

"Um..."

"Shit." He swore. "I'm sorry, that's personal, and you don't have to tell me if you don't want to, I'm so-"

I cut him off. "It's okay." I looked at the clock on the wall. In a matter of seconds the bell would signal the end of class. "If you really want to kno-" I was too late, the bell cut me off and I scrambled to get my things. I was about to make it out of the door when he caught me.

"'If I really want to know...' what?" He asked, and I gulped.

"Come to the back of the building after school." I said quickly and walked, I only had three minutes to get to the next class.

DAN'S POV

What was he going to tell me? I was reading another entry. It seemed to be almost the same as the others. I was watching for him to show up.

"Dan." I heard. I looked up and greeted him with a small "hi". He smiled, and looked down at the journal as if he were thinking about it. Did he know about it?

"I guess I should go ahead and get on with it..." He said shyly. I nodded. "I do it because I hate my my life, I hate the entire school, and my home and family." What he said kind of reminded me of the anonymous person, but it couldn't be him, could it? He would have told me, wouldn't he? No, most likely not. "And the fact that I'm gay and have a crush on-" He cut himself off this time, but I was curious, everything he said was sounding just like the anonymous.

"Oh who?" I asked.

He muttered something unintelligible.

"What?" I asked.

"I have a crush on..." He seemed to be picking up the courage to tell me, as if I was his crush.

"Spit it out now." I prompted jokingly.

"On you."

~~~~~~

Oh shit, am I right?

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