Typically Me [BxB]

Chapter Twelve

 Mum put the twins to bed early so we could stay up together, talking.

 I woke up in the early hours of the morning when mum ran to the toilet to be sick. I stumbled out of bed wearing my usual night time attire- a plain black t-shirt and tracksuit bottoms- and went to her. I held her afterwards as she tried; she didn’t want to go through all this again, but she didn’t believe in abortion. Neither did I; it was circumstantial in our minds.

 I made her go back to bed and decided that today I would go back to school.

 “Are you sure you want to?” she asked me.

 I told her to relax. Maybe she should stay at home today? Yes, I was fine to take the twins to school.

 It was hours until I had to get ready, but I knew I wouldn’t be able to get back to sleep. I went and had a long, boiling hot shower. I got dressed; un-ironed shirt with the top button undone, tie done short with added safety-pins, skinny jeans and a black and white studded chequered belt to keep them up. I padded barefoot back downstairs and switched the TV on to a music channel.

 The twins finally awoke and I made them breakfast told them to get dressed- yes, mum was still in bed, no, she wouldn’t be taking them to school, yes, I would be taking them to school, no, they couldn’t have ice-cream instead of cereal.

 I sighed and shook my head at Bart’s crestfallen expression. How deluded must he be to think I would actually allow him the ice-cream?

 I checked in on mum before we left but she was fast asleep. I left her a note, grabbed my bag, made sure my siblings had everything they needed for the day and we set off at a brisk pace. They ran ahead of me but I didn’t bother to tell them off. The faster they were, the faster I would get to school, the faster I could see Ray.

 I dropped them off at the reception and hot-footed it to my school.

 Assembly was the usual drag but Mr Cotton didn’t tell my off over my uniform. It seems there were some advantages to returning from a stint in the hospital after being beaten up. The disadvantage, however, was that everyone stared at me. And I couldn’t decide why. Were they staring because of my bruises? To see if I passed out any second? Or because of my newly announced sexuality?

 I kept my head bowed as I made my way along the crowded corridor. I was headed for my form room to be quickly registered and then dismissed for classes.

 I hadn’t seen Ray.

 I entered the room and was pulled into a bone-crushing hug by Brad.

 “Seriously, dude, I just got out of hospital- you want to put me back in there?” I gasped as all the air was knocked from my lungs and my pain rocketed through my body.

 “Sorry, dude. I really fucking missed you.” he said, but then he was pulled back, away from me. Dylan had hold of the back of his jumper. Brad’s face went red and he suddenly became very interested in his shoes.

 “How come you guys didn’t visit me?” I asked, but I was saying it mostly to Dylan; he was my oldest friend.

 “Well, you’re okay, aren’t you?” he asked coldly. He was looking at me with a defiant expression, one eyebrow slightly raised. Aaron wouldn’t look at me and Brad still had his head down.

 “What’s going on, guys?” I asked them, but I didn’t receive a reply for a while.

 I didn’t need one. I knew what was going on. This was where it all started; being treated differently for being bisexual. My three closest friends- none of them were acting normally. Except for Brad, Brad had hugged me… but he’d been torn away by Dylan.

 And then I knew.

 “It was you who hit Ray, wasn’t it?” I asked Dylan, my voice deadly quiet. He smirked.

 “Don’t accuse me, bro.” He said it in what he must have assumed was a smart-ass voice.

 It just made me madder.

 “Do not call me bro. I am not your bro, not anymore.” I snapped.

 “That’s fine by me, fag.”

 “What did you call me?”

 “You heard me, fag.”

 I surged forward but someone grabbed my arm and pulled me backwards. I turned around… and my eyes widened.

 Tanya was standing behind me- but it wasn’t the Tanya I knew.

 Her hair which had previously been a red-brown colour had now not only been cut into the short bob she’d had done for the shoot, but had now also been dyed a harsh but beautiful midnight black. Her eyes were heavily outlined with black, lots of mascara, lots of eyeliner, lots of smudging. Her skin had been paled instead of bronzer-ed. Her school shirt clung tightly to her model figure, the tie short and riddled with badges and safety pins. Her pleated grey-black school skirt was ridiculously short, her long legs covered in ripped tights, Converses on her feet.

 I felt my mouth drop open.

 “Don’t, Ash. He’s not worth it.” she said bluntly, and then she pulled me from the classroom. She dragged me outside to the back door of the canteen; a place no-one but the ‘rebel’ students went.

 “Tan… you look so… different.” I said. She raised an eyebrow. “In a good way, of course.” I added.

 “Yeah, well, I figured you might need a new best friend at school. So I had to make some changes, didn’t I? Besides, I was getting bored of my image anyways.” she said matter-of-factly, taking out her phone and scrolling through the music.

 “You changed… because of me?” I asked as she clicked on a song. “OH MY GOD, YOU LIKE THE MISFITS NOW?”

 “Hell yeah, they’re awesome. I never realised how cull the stuff you’re into was. It kinda freaked me out, y’know, the way it’s portrayed, the whole image that goes around the world- that people that like rock music and black clothes only listen to people that scream and you’re all psychopaths. Not that I ever thought you were a psycho, Ash.” she added quickly. I chuckled.

 There was a brief silence during which, even under all that pale makeup, her cheeks flushed.

 “And besides, if I have to compete with guys too now…” she mumbled.

 I sighed and rolled my eyes. Some things never change.

 “You didn’t have to change yourself. I’ve always liked you, Tan, you’re a great person.” I told her.

 “Yes, but I wasn’t the person for you.” she countered.

 “Well, what about Ray?” I argued.

 “He’s not been in school. Like, at all. I figured you guys had an argument, you’d broken up or something.” she told me, a hand flying to her mouth as she realised her mistake.

 I couldn’t do anything but pull her into a tight hug. I wanted to comfort her, to tell her that she’d find the right guy, it wasn’t just met… but I didn’t know that. I couldn’t make promises I couldn’t keep.

 And what was going on with me and Ray?