You're Pretty Ugly when You Cry

My Life as a Plant

I feel this every Valentine's Day or every so often when I see couples making PDA because the most intimate experience I ever had would an approximate of 0.5 inches of skin-to-skin interaction inside the mrt during rush hour.

So yeah, I'm a walking, breathing asexual being - a vegetable even. For years, I've managed to survive being this creature of non-existent libido, a dense humanoid devoid of any carnal desire--- the physical kind. However, romantic inclinations have been prevalent but not as consistent as you would imagine.

For several years after puberty I have been a designated third wheel to my bestfriend as if we were attached to the hip. I really don't mind being thought of a lesbian then but really I have no intention of being in a relationship then.

I never had serious talks about the birds and the bees from the parentals. Mom took an earlier exit to heaven thus talking about it with your father is quite awkward so I has to play it by ear and learn through literature and friend's experience.

My group of friends are pretty much prude people except for a notable few who are on the adventurous side. For that I applaud their bravery.

I've always been detached and a mere observer of life. Having no close romantic partner growing up made me ignorant of lover's quarrel.

I've always just witnessed how my friends would relate their own versions and how every relationship unfold from friends to lovers and then to strangers. It can be a sad vicious cycle really.

I couldn't even imagine myself being all hung up or being too enamored. All those were alien to me. But there will always be firsts.

Like getting hit my school bus. Life as a plant has it's end. Something happened and to my shock, i have discovered the purpose of my hypothalamus and that my heart can beat twice as fast as it can because there were butterflies being birthed inside my stomach.

So, meh.