I smiled up at her after I said it and squeezed her hand tighter. She just stared at me, why wasn’t she reacting like other girls do when the boy they love asks them the big question, they cry and giggle then they kiss. Did I do something wrong? Marzia let go of my hand and turned to the camera she walked up to it and turned it off. She stared at me blankly.
“I –im sor...” was all I could say still on one knee and Marzia left the room not saying anything. I was heartbroken the girl of my dreams didn’t love me, didn’t want to marry me. I buried my head in to my knees where I was still on the floor and just sat there.
He squeezed my hand really tight like he was desperate; I tried not to show any pain from it. I turned to turn the camera off and I looked back at him with no emotion but he was staring at me with his sea blue eyes that were sad and had pain in them.
It hurt to see him like this but I didn’t want to get married not yet anyway, my parents always reminded me that I was too young to get married. I left the room closing the door behind me. I knew I had messed everything up now he would never look at me the same I went upstairs to the bedroom and packed some clothes. I came back downstairs and realised that Felix was still sat in there. I didn’t want to speak to him. So I left a note.
I think we should have a break to sort things out
I didn’t even say I love you, I really didn’t know anymore. As I was about to leave Puga made a whimpering noise with her head cocked I put my hands down to hold her and she climbed in them. I turned outside and started walking not knowing where to go.
I sat there. Feeling numb. I was nothing. I looked at my watch I had sat here for an hour. I probably pushed Marzia over the limit, I went out of the room to try and find the girl of my dreams so I could apologize for rushing things. I was awful and selfish to do this to her.
I searched the whole house and was calling her name to find a note on the kitchen top. I read it over and over, each time I read it the more worried, scared and upset I got. I felt the paper in my hands get softer then I realized I was sobbing un-controllably. I sunk to the tiled floor and hung my head low
. I felt sick to the stomach. I slowly stumbled to the bathroom. I fell to the ground in front of the toilet I knew I wasn’t going to be sick, but I felt like if I was it would take the pain away. I shoved my index and fore finger down my throat as I started to choke, I grabbed the toilet basin with my shaky hands which were useless. I threw up my breakfast that my girlfriend had made me I wiped away the thought and sat against the door.
None of the pain went away, it was worse than before. I closed my eyes hoping today would just end and that I would too.