"There comes a point where you no longer care if there's a light at the end of the tunnel or not. You're just sick of the tunnel." -Ranata Suzuki
I am scared.
I'm scared of myself.
People may call me hypocrite or an attention seeker but I really am afraid of what I might do to myself. Yes, I am depressed. I don't know how to save myself anymore. I think I've done everything I could do but I know I could do more. I feel so worthless. No one knows just how many times I have planned my own death. Should I do it silently like slitting my wrist? Should I let everybody see by jumping off a building? Or should I make it look like an accident by crossing the busy streets? No one knows how many times I imagined myself dead. There were times I become sensible as to what I thought and become disgusted of myself. I could not even look at my own reflection anymore. Knowing that what will greet me are the pair of dull eyes that no one would believe twinkled with life before.
I miss the old me. Plain old innocent gullible kid me. I would do everything just to gain that lost innocence from before. The past kid that did not care to what people whisper behind my back. The past self that treated every harsh word as a joke. The past me that was in the light unlike the current I stuck in the darkness.
I find it hard to breath sometimes.
As if I'm drowning. I can't bear the responsibility of being an only child. The expectations they placed on me was slowly killing me. I can't see my future anymore unlike before. My head was always filled with rainbows but now I can't see the light anymore. I'm too far deep and I'm hoping someone could save me before...I'm gone.
Before I no longer look for the light anymore.
YOU ARE READING
AWAY
RandomPlease just help me, I don't need anything else just come and save me from this hell. This isn't a story. So if you're expecting a story, leave now.
