My Tumblr Boy (On Hold)

Closure(2)

"Nate...what do you want? I have to go to class." I said.

"I know. I know. I just..." He leaned against the desk, and he practically fluttered those big brown eyes at me. "...I miss you. You know that, right?"

Fuck. I seriously don’t need this today! "Whatever. Look, don't play games with me, ok? You dumped me, remember?"

"Hey, whoah...who said anything about dumping you, Nova?"

"You haven't even talked to me in, like, three and a half weeks. You don't wanna be seen with me...What the hell am I meant to think when you do that?"

He ran his hand through his fluffy bangs and rolled his eyes at me. “I told you Nova, we gotta keep this a secret…one little whisper and there goes my reputation. You can’t expect me to give that up can you?” He whined, before spitting out the last words.

Sighh, that one hurt. I’m not even good enough to be dated in public? I rolled my eyes and went to turn and walk out the door until I felt his hand wrap around my arm, pulling me to face him, chest to chest.

“Listen, I'm just looking out for us. That's all. Now....why don't we just stop this. Ok?" He said. "Come on, Nova. I wanna 'see' you this weekend." "Why?" I asked.

"Why?" He tried to laugh it off, but I wasn't laughing.

"Yeah, Why? Why do you wanna see me this weekend?" I repeated.

"Don't be like that, babe. Look, why don't you come by my house on Saturday? My parents will be away all afternoon, we'll have the whole place to ourselves...and we can talk. You always said that we needed to talk more. So let's talk. This will be the perfect opportunity..."

My eyes narrowed at him and I felt the anger building up inside my chest, he just couldn’t be normal with me could he? I jerked my arm from his grip before taking a few steps back.

“For what? For you to try and get some sexy time? Is that it?” I knew that there was nobody in the classroom with us, but I made sure to raise my voice a little. If for no other reason than to see him squirm and jump in shock. "I am not just some girl that you can call on when you get horny, Nate. I wanted something more than that. And you tricked me into believing that you could be that person for me, but you're fucking not!" I told him defiantly. "So just...do us both a favor and leave me alone. Find somebody else to be your 'hormone pump'." And even though I was hoping to embarrass, humiliate, and totally reject him...he actually gave me a snobbish little smirk as I pushed him aside to leave.

He didn't care. He didn't give a shit about me. Outside of my mouth, chest, and what was in between my legs, I doubt he had any use for the rest of me at all. And I know that! I know it deep in my heart, beyond the shadow of a doubt! So...why does it still hurt so much to know that he doesn't care?

That was a question that bugged me for the rest of the afternoon. Hell...I should be thankful for the distraction. Somewhere between my real life relationship with Nate...which was a huge failure, and my imaginary relationship with a boy online that I've never even met...which seems to be a smashing success, and will continue to be one as long as I never meet him face to face.

After school, Shannon and Emery drove me home, and Emery decided to get out and keep me company for an hour or two. He can always tell when I'm dealing with varying degrees of misery. Normally, I'd put up some resistance to his company, knowing that it wouldn't do a damn bit of good. Trying to stop Emery once he got his head wrapped around an idea was like trying to stop a runaway train with a freaking spider web. But today, I guess I just needed a friendly ear.

As soon as we entered my house, he ran straight for the kitchen and then later appeared in my room with his arms stuffed with crisps, chocolate and Oreos.

He was now bouncing around on my computer whilst I laid back on my bed, staring up at the ceiling and tossing a small rubber ball in the air. Not quite high enough to hit the ceiling, but I was amusing myself by seeing how close I could get without doing so. And after a bit of small talk, I came clean with him

"I saw Nathan today..."

He turned around in the chair, giving me the daggers I expected from such a revelation. "Dude...what the hell are you doing? When did you talk to him?”

"Some time after lunch, I guess. We went into the bathroom."

His face dropped into disapointment. Almost hurt. "Nova, what have I told you about him??? Huh? He's no good for you! He's just a fucking user who wants a performing 'monkey' to satisfy his own little urges, and...."

"I know, Em! I know, ok? Don't worry. I told him to piss off. It's just..." I stopped, afraid that I was about to confess to something that I wasn't ready for.

"You just what?" He asked me, confusion twisted across his innocent and he slid over to me on the desk chair. Pulling a Cadbury's bar from his lap, he handed it to me and smiled softly.

"His reaction to it…It just hurt you know? Like I mean we were together for what? Six months? I thought that he would have at least cared about me in the slightest but…”

“He didn’t give two-shits?” I nodded and squeezed my eyes shut. Forcing back any stupid tears that threatened to ruin my eyeliner and turn me into a raccoon. I felt arms wrap around my waist and we stayed like that for a few minutes, just him holding me.

“Damn girl, we gotta give you some more chocolate bars, are they some ribs I can feel there?” Emery poked at my ribs and a giggle escaped my lips, probably the most girlish feature I had. Leaning over, I grabbed a bag of Maltesers he had hidden behind him and stuck out my tongue, they were my guilty pleasure.

“I’m sad; let me devour my feelings in the sexiness of these?” I asked, holding up the bag whilst giving him puppy eyes. He laughed and patted my head before getting up and bringing the laptop over to where I was sat. Bringing up Tumblr on the screen, he opened Mycah’s Tumblr and sent a smile my way. A new video was on the screen, he had uploaded a new video. Blinking repeatedly, making sure that I wasn’t dreaming, I let out the breath that I had only just noticed I had been holding in.

“I saw this and thought you’d like to see it.” I nodded and felt my heartbeat pick up as he clicked the play button and it started to buffer, I was going to see what this idea was that he’d liked so much.

“Hey guys, it’s Mycah here…”