At age eight, Stiles' biggest pet peeve was people ruffling his hair. In his eight year old mind, it was a form of babying, for someone who still thinks he needs comfort. The number one perpetrator of this annoyance was his mom, Claudia. Anytime he would walk past her, fingers would softly run through his hair. Oftentimes, this was met by Stiles groaning, and running in the opposite direction of his mother, yelling about no longer being a little boy.
Claudia would sigh quietly at her son, already so headstrong, even at eight. She couldn't wait to see what the future would hold with her and John's incredibly smart son. She knew that he would amount to great things.
Even when Claudia's condition got much worse, and she couldn't remember Stiles anymore, she would still run her fingers through his hair, stating that it was too soft not to be played with. He would huff quietly and fix his hair, muttering about his appearance, but deep down he was thankful that she still could hold onto some memories of him.
--
At age seventeen, Stiles longed for comfort, longed for the feeling of his mother's slender fingers carding through his mousy brown hair, reminding him that she will always back him up. Now, in the present day, he feels like he has no one.
Sure, there's his dad, but he's working a lot as the sheriff of Beacon Hills, and he has Scott, but he's always too preoccupied with Kira, and if not with her, then with the rest of the pack. Stiles gets it, he really does, he's the human of the pack, not top priority, but ever since the nogitsune has left him, he hasn't been himself. No matter how many times Scott says it isn't his fault, he still believes that it is.
The only person somewhat consistent with checking in on Stiles is Derek, and even those moments are few and far between. Stiles may act annoyed when Derek sneaks in his bedroom window and asks him a full mental health evaluation, but he is happy that anyone even cares about him after the destruction that he caused.
--
Even now, months later as Stiles sits in his dark room, laptop light dimly illuminating his bedroom, Stiles can't help and think about Allison, and all he could have done to fight off the nogitsune. He runs through all the scenarios to come up with one where she possibly could have lived.
"I could have fought it harder," Stiles whispers angrily to himself, tears slowly gathering in his eyes.
Stiles stands up from his desk quickly, chair falling to the ground with a loud thud, but in his mind it was miles away. Sighing loudly, Stiles moves the chair back to an upright position, sliding it into its place in the desk. With shaking hands, he closes his laptop, bathing himself in complete darkness.
Once again sighing, Stiles closes his eyes and tugs a hand through his ratty hair, willing the horrible memories to go away. Hoping the ache behind his eyes will go away with some sleep, he walks over to his bed and lays on top of all of the covers, eyes closing almost instantly as his head hits the mattress. A few moments later, he hears the familiar sound of his window sliding up, and someone slipping into his room.
"Derek, please leave, I can't handle playing twenty questions tonight," Stiles mumbles out.
"Stil-" Derek starts.
"Derek I really can't, please, just leave me alone," Stiles whispers again, covering his face with his arms.
Derek looks at Stiles intensely, not ever remembering a time seeing the ADHD riddled boy's body stay so still. It hurts Derek's heart knowing how the boy must be feeling. Even being able to read his chemo-signals to monitor his emotions doesn't mean Derek even has a slight idea what is going on in the teen's mind. Knowing that he can't leave Stiles alone to his own thoughts, Derek pads quietly over to the boy's bed and lays down next to him silently, pulling him into his strong arms.
"Derek, what are you doing?" Stiles asks quietly, voice sounding exhausted.
"I get not wanting to talk about it, I really do, but I am not going to leave you alone when you're feeling like this Stiles. I care about you way too much to leave you alone when you're in this kind of pain," Derek says honestly, one hand gently running up and down Stiles' arm.
Stiles turns around to face Derek, amber eyes locking green, "Why don't you just leave me alone like the rest of the pack has? I'm not that important to you guys, I'm just the human. I might as well just disappear"
Derek clenches his jaw, and his grip around Stiles tightens, "Stiles, I can't believe you don't know how amazing you are. Manic, hyperactive, and a little insane sometimes, but amazing nonetheless. You have saved my own life personally on multiple occasions. If you hadn't of helped Scott in the beginning, he would very likely be dead now. If you weren't here to do research with Peter, then who would? If you weren't in the pack, there wouldn't be a pack, Stiles. You keep us together. Scott may be the alpha, but you are the glue that keeps us together."
By the end of Derek's rant, Stiles had tears pouring down his cheeks, "If I'm so important to the pack, then how come you're the only one who visits me?"
"Because they're cowards," Derek says bluntly, "But they'll eventually come around."
Stiles' go wide-eyed at the statement, but he nods somewhat understanding.
The boys lay there in silence, save for their breathing, for a little. Then Stiles breaks the silence, "Derek, you're not allowed to leave me like the pack has, I need you."
"They'll come back arou-" Derek says, looking at the human laying soundly in his arms.
"I don't care what you think will happen Derek," Stiles interrupts, "Just promise me."
Without even blinking, Derek answers soundly, "I promise you Stiles, as long as I am breathing, I will never leave you."
Stiles nods quietly and closes his eyes, getting comfortable in Derek's safe embrace. As he starts to doze off, he feels fingers carding through his hair, and the feeling making him smile lightly, he could get used to the comfort.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Hello everyone, this is my first fanfic in a long time, and I'm really hoping some of you like it! This was lovingly edited by my best friend Ky thank you so much for that!
-g.l
