sophrosyne

chapter 1

Abigail

I closed my locker and went down to the cafeteria. I can feel everyone's eyes on me, trying to figure out how or what I'm feeling. Like it's any of their business.

I don't look so good right now. Any other day I would be wearing skinny jeans and a tight top but today Im wearing sweatpants and an oversized sweater. I sit down at an empty table and put my earphones in. I just press the play button and close my eyes. I don't even realize I'm listening to perfect by ed sheeran. Our song.

I take my earbuds out and put my face into my palms. I wonder what he's doing right now. Is he at school? Is he making out with a chick in the janitors closet? He could be doing illegal things right now shit, when does he ever do anything legal.

Why am I even thinking about him? He doesn't deserve me. It's the truth but I keep telling myself that I was the one not good enough.

I look up at the table in front of me. It's where the football boys sit. They're all staring at me. I shoot them all a look and they all look down. I feel a slight tap on my shoulder. I turn around and see my best friend Hayley.

"How are you holding up Abby?" I shrug. "These hoes don't know how to stop staring and mind their own buisness" I say it quietly but I know everyone can hear every word I say. I hear some shuffling of people turning their backs at me. I grin at Hayley.

"Are you going to Nate's party tonight? You need a break from boy drama and go get some fun" I roll my eyes at her. She's right, I've been keeping myself up at night because when I close my eyes, all I see is Jack.

"Dude I don't even know if I'm ready to talk to another guy. Let alone be in a house full of 'em." Hayley elbows my lightly in the arm.

"It'll be fun! I promise that I won't let any boy mess with you, I'll be by your side the entire time!" I scoff because I know that she won't be anywhere near me when she gets drunk and finds a few cute guys.

I stand up and put my phone in my pocket. "I'll think about it" Hayley narrows her eyes at me. "That better mean yes! I'm not going without you and I really wanna go!". I chuckle and point at my phone. "I'll tell you later"

••••

I change into black skinny jeans and a tight, off the shoulder top from brandy meville. I fix up my makeup and curl my hazel brown hair. I grab my car keys and put on my converse.

My look isn't one bit sexy. When I first started to go to parties in freshman year, I use to go all out. To be honest I looked like a hoe. I'm a junior now and I really couldn't care less about what to wear to these kinds of parties. They're all trashy and people go solely to get drunk and have sex. I'm only doing this for Hayley.

I hop into my car and drive to Nate's house. Nate is on the football team, making him instantly popular. Everyone these days wants to date a jock. I can't say anything bad about them since I dated one.

The music is loud, I could start to hear it from down the street. I park and I walk to the house.

Hey hayley where r u?

I text her while making my way into the living room of the house.

"Abby!"

I turn around and see Hayley with a red solo cup in her hand. Her face is bright and she has a smile on her face.

"Come with me, let's get you something to drink!"

She drags me by the wrist to the bar. She orders me a vodka shot.

"Hayley, you know I can't-"

She shoves the glass in my hands and forces me to drink it. I feel a slight burning sensation in my neck. I don't drink vodka that often. The music gets louder and faster. Hayley drags me to the living room and starts to dance. I giggle and jump up and down to the beat. 4 vodka shots in and my head is pounding but I don't stop dancing. Hayley isn't in my sight but I don't mind. I sit on a bar stool and order a beer. A lot of people stare at me, they didn't expect me to show up at a party so soon after a break up. Some of the jocks are looking at me too, but not in concern. They smile at me. I smile back, not knowing who I'm smiling at because my vision is blurry. They say something to eachother and two of them walk over to me.

"Hey baby, wanna dance?" One of them say. I think his name is Liam?

I nod and get up from my seat. He puts his hands on my waist. I flinch at his touch, the last time I was touched by a boy it was painful. I ease in and move my hips. I turn around and see the other boy smiling at me. Damn, he's really cute. He walks over with my beer and his drink in his hand. I take the beer and take a swig. I'm sandwiched between the two boys and my body starts to get sticky from all the heat. I move away from the boys and sit on the stool again. My head is pounding and I can't see straight, I just feel like going to sleep.

Liam comes up to me and pulls me off the stool. He grabs my waist and brings me upstairs. He opens the door to an non vacant room. I run to the bed and jump on it. It feels so nice and comfy, I close my eyes and I can feel my mind drifting off to sleep already. I hear the door close and assume that Liam left to enjoy the rest of the party. Then, I feel a hand on my waist. I gasp and a hand covers my mouth. The hand on my waist starts to tug at my jeans. I want to kick and shout but I feel too tired to do much of that so I lay still on the bed, while he quickly undresses me, eager to be inside me.

I hear him unbuckle his belt and pull down his pants. Do I like what I'm seeing? I don't really know. My mind feels too fuzzy to know anything. I need to say something, but when I open my mouth nothing comes out. He straddles ontop of me holding his junk, ready to insert, when I hear the door open.

"What are you doing man? You're taking this way too far, get off her"

The person walks in and and pushes Liam off me.

"Chill man, what do you mean taking this too far? You already know what I came here to do, now get out of here"

I lift myself up to see what's going on but the room is too dark.

"No, do you know what this is called? It's called rape and you can get arrested for this shit. Stop doing this, it's wrong"

I hear a grunt and then a loud thump. One of them is on the ground. I wrap myself with the sheets trying to block out the sound of them fighting. I hear voices and soon enough people are running in the room trying to separate the fight. Hayley comes over to me and hugs me tight. Tears start to run down my cheeks.

"I should have never made you come here tonight. I'm so sorry abby"

Everyone starts to leave and the last person I see is Ethan Dolan, with blood running down his face.