The tears streaming down my face were not anyone's fault but my own. I was alone in the world, I had pushed those away that loved me and I wanted to be chased after.
My heart begged.
And pleaded.
And wept for love.
"Chase after me, please, I'm on my hands and knees, love me."
No, not enough.
Never enough
"I WANTED YOU TO SHOW ME YOU LOVED ME," that was the day of the break up, I was mad and angry and upset, but ever true to yourself you grabbed me as I beat against you weakly with my fists and cried.
When I had finally calmed down enough I leaned against the bench and asked in a quiet voice, "It was good while it lasted, wasn't it?"
"It was great," your voice cracked on the last syllable and I broke again.
"Dylan, please don't do this, I need you." Cliche I know, but I did need him. I needed him like I need air to breath, like I needed food to eat, like I needed my heart to beat.
"I can't," that was the quiet response I never wanted to hear, so I walked away from the person I loved the most.
_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~
It was a sudden break up, the fight had started because you were jealous of my best friend, Josh. He had walked me to class one day and I hadn't walked with you. God forbid I have a life and other friends was my first thought. I was trying to talk through what had happened when the truth suddenly came out, you wanted me all to yourself. The fact was, my heart was yours, but when we first started dating I told you I was not going to compromise me and my personality for you. Take me as I am or leave, those were the exact words I used a little over 9 months ago.
We both said things we didn't mean, but, damn, it hurt like a bitch when you said I was a slut, and an attention seeking whore before I met you. I was so hurt I slapped you, which wasn't the smartest move on my part.
As I walked away, tears streaming down my face I suddenly realized, I was broken, and I was broken by you.
The next day you found me with a handprint on your cheek in red and purple colors. I sat and let you talk, until suddenly I couldn't take it anymore and I yelled at you. Then it was officially over. I was alone, once again.
"It was good while it lasted, wasn't it?"
"It was great"
The spell was broken, there was no prince and princess. No midnight kiss. No hand holding. We were broken apart. And alone.
_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~
6 MONTHS LATER
I hesitated before walking in. The diagnosis was know throughout the town, brain cancer was a big word for such a little place. I knew you were sick, but I was too big of a coward to come to see you...Until today.
"Hi." I mumbled stupidly, you were still as if frozen in shock.
"Um, hey," your voice was hoarse but your eyes were what shocked me most about your physical appearance. What had once been a steel grey were suddenly dull, and lifeless. When the shock wore off from seeing me, you said a sentence that shocked me to my very core, "I wasn't sure you would come."
Cue my heart breaking.
"We may not be dating anymore but, c'mon Dylan, we were friends before dating."
I stayed with you for at least 6 hours, talking and catching up, avoiding the elephant in the room. Your mom walked in, saw me, and about tackled me with a hug. I needed to leave, you needed time with your family. So I grabbed my purse from the floor and prepared to leave.
My chest was surprisingly light in my chest and I sensed it wouldn't be that way for long, call it a soulmates intuition, but something was going to go wrong and I wasn't going to let that happen before saying a couple things to you. I asked your mom for 5 minutes alone, and began what unbeknownst to me, was going to be the last time I said "I love you" to you.
"Just listen, don't talk," was how I started my speech.
" I loved you. I think I still do, even though it isn't romantically. You are my soulmate and nothing can change that, whether it be romantic or platonic. When I heard about your diagnosis I stayed in my room and wrote down all I would say to you, when I had the chance. Darling, I can't do it, I can't stand here and say these things and pretend like you aren't going to die. I love you, ok? That is all you need to know." I was crying by the end of my little speech but when I looked at you and you said, "I love you too." I broke down sobbing and ran out of the room.
_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~
APPROXIMATELY 4 HOURS LATER
When my phone rang, in the middle of the night. I knew, while slipping shoes on I scribbled a note to my family, telling them I would see them later.
Upon arriving to room 888, I noticed the tubes protruding from your extremities. I grasped your hand and repeated our fateful line to you while dripping silent tears down my face.
"It was good while it lasted wasn't it?"
Weakly you replied, " It was great."
And with your parents and I surrounding you, you took your last breath, you exhaled love when leaving this earth and moving on to the next great perhaps, I hope to do the same when my time comes.
I love you, forever my love.
/FIN/
A/N: this is my first time writing a story like this so yea. Please comment opinions.
Xo
