Avoiding Temptation •jb•

16; I Need You

"Maybe it's not love yet, Caitlin. But she's my forever. I know that."

•Justin's POV•

I stare up at the ceiling before my tired eyes check the time on my phone again. The brightness of the screen makes me squint as 1:23 in the morning shines back at me. I sigh, unable to sleep because of everything that's been on my mind.

I think about my mother's words earlier, love, as she called it, particularly standing out to me. I've never experienced love before - in a romantic sense, at least.

I like to believe I loved Caitlin, but we both know it isn't true. I was with Caitlin to spite Jeremy and he knows that too; that's why he likes her. He knows I'm not attached to her.

Sasha on the other hand has me overthinking everything. Maybe I could be falling for her. I understand her. She's there for me. She's definitely got me hooked, but I'm not sure I'd go as far as saying I love her. It's just too soon.

Or is it?

I'm snapped out of my thoughts when my door slowly opens, Sasha slips through before she quickly and quietly closes it again. She leans against it and lets out a breath, my mood instantly lifting upon seeing her. I watch her eyes scan around the room barely lit by the moonlight coming in through the window. As she looks around, my eyes scan her body noticing her wearing an oversized sweater and athletic shorts. Her arms are crossed over her chest as she slouches, her knees moving back and forth meaning she's cold. My eyes scan back up to her eyes, hers eventually locking with mine and she jumps slightly, looking shocked that I'm awake.

"I'm sorry, did I wake you? I was trying to be quiet.." She trails off, staying by the door.

"I've been awake.. Can't sleep." I tell her and move the blanket back, inviting her to lay down with me. I watch a small smile form on her lips as she quickly walks to my bed, crawling onto it. Instead of laying beside me, she straddles my lap and lays down, her head resting on my chest as her entire body is on top of me. I can't help the smile that forms on my face as I pull the blanket back up, my arms wrapping around her as I rub her back. I feel her soft fingertips tracing against my chest as she draws hearts along my skin. Her breathing is slow, her body is relaxed, and I can tell she's at peace right now.

"Can we talk?" She asks quietly and I nod, my eyes going back to the ceiling as my fingers play with the ends of her hair.

"Yeah, about what?" I ask and she immediately answers - her voice soft as she speaks to me.

"Us." My heart speeds up at her words and I know she hears it because her movements stop, almost like she's listening. "I don't know what we are.." She trails off and I just listen, not sure of what to say yet. "I'm not even sure if you want us to be something. I know a lot of people are against us being together and with everything that's going on right now, it's probably best to not get involved. Maybe you were right to push me away. Maybe we shouldn't.." My chest tightens at her words, the thought of losing her hurting me more than I thought it would.

"But I need you." I whisper to her quietly, my vulnerability showing as my arms pull her closer to me if possible. I feel her turn her head and I know her gaze is on me but I refuse to meet it. "I think we need each other." I clarify, swallowing hard as my eyes stay locked on the ceiling, my eyebrows furrowing with how weak I sound but for some reason I feel like I need to tell her. "I'm not.. I don't.." I sigh, not knowing how to phrase my words correctly, "Alright, you wanna know the truth? I think we were made for each other."

"Why do you say that?" She questions and I shake my head, knowing I could list off a million reasons why.

"Because something that feels this amazing, this genuine, this real, doesn't just happen to two people that don't belong together forever."