Afraid To Fall In Love

Living Nightmares

"Are you there" I heard him say

"Ah..ermm...yeah...yes" I began to stammer as I noticed Mahmud's attention on me.

And then the call was hung, But I couldn't keep the phone from my ear, I wanted more of the voice I have longed for, slowly I placed the phone on the table quietly playing with my food as I have lost my appetite.

"Are you okay" I heard Mahmud say,

"Oh yeah...I am okay" I lied

"Then why are you so quite...who was that on the phone?" he asked noticing how absent minded I was.

"Ohh just a friend" I replied
"Can we leave now?" I added putting my phone in my clutch getting ready to leave,

" but you barely ate!" He stated pointing to my plate of spaghetti.

"Yeah! I am not hungry" I replied sheepishly.

He got up and paid the bills before leaving the restaurant, it was a quite drive back home, and as soon as he pulled over I got out and walked straight to my room as he trailed behind, I could hear Mamie asking him if he did anything wrong right before I got into the room locking the door behind me.

I leaned on the door and then slowly sloping to the ground, I needed to let it all out, I needed to cry it all out, I just wanted to be alone.

My phone began to ring again, i rushed to open my clutch bag, I had a lot of questions I wanted to asked... Where he had been, why he left, why he didn't contact me all this while but as soon as I answered the call the only thing that came out of my mouth was "why, why" as fresh set of tears took over the conversation.

"Calm down My minal, calm down... I can explain" he kept muttering

"Why" I asked again

"I was arrested just before our Kamu, but I promise I had nothing to do with it, it was just a business deal gone wrong but because all the evidence was pointing to me I had to go to jail to await trial" he tried to explain.

"What!" I shout in shock,

"I am innocent please believe me, I have been cleared of all charges and now we can get married peacefully" he went on.

"Its to late Nazeer... Its too late" I tried to explain as more tears ran down my cheeks.

"What do you mean Minal?" He asked impatiently.

"The wedding went on without you, you didn't show up, there was no message from you... I am Married to Mahmud" I replied

"What the hell Minal!" He yelled, "you couldn't even wait for me, you promised.... You promised Minal" he kept yelling and all I could do was cry.

"It wasn't me, I waited... I swear" I tried to defend myself.

"Whatever!... You don't think I will let you go like that do you? you are my wife, and mine alone, I will kill who ever looks at you in a different way, I will kill him..... You are my wife" he kept yelling, he has never been this aggressive with me, I have never seen this side of him, could it be the effects of being in jail for several months? I kept trying to convince myself but I was scared to death.

"What has come over you?" I managed to ask

"You are mine, and nobody can take you away from me, I will ruin who ever tries to separate us Wallahi! " he shout just before hanging up the call.

I began to feel feverish coupled with a bit of dizziness, I tried to reach for the bathroom but slumped to the floor before I could open the door to the bathroom.

Mahmud

I couldn't find peace after the way we parted even though Mamie suggested that I give her a little space to calm down, I walked to her room when I noticed that Mamie has left to her room. I kept knocking on the door calling her name but there was no answer, I could feel it in my heart that something was wrong otherwise she would have opened the door out of annoyance.

"I will break down this door" I yelled but there was no answer, she was scaring me, what if something bad had happened to her? I kept asking myself, I had to break down the door only to find the love of my life laying there almost lifeless on the floor.

I carried her in my arms and rushed out to the car. I called Mamie to let her know before reaching the hospital. But telling her not to worry or panic was as useless so I hung up the phone and concentrated on driving so we could get there faster.

The doctor attended to her as soon as we arrived at the hospital and I was asked to wait outside in the waiting area. I have never been so worried in a long time. A year ago I could care less that she was brought to the hospital in this condition but look at how I am going crazy seeing her in this state.

"Ya Allah, save my wife...save my Minal" I muttered with my face in my palm

Mamie and the girls arrived after a short while and sat next to me as we waited for the doctor attending to her.

He came out of the room shortly assuring us that she was going to be fine after getting enough rest. We went in to see her sleeping peacefully. It was getting late so I asked Mamie to go home while I stay over for the night, she agreed after a lot of persuasion and I was left alone with Minal.

I stared at her innocent face as I prayed to God that she recovers fast so I could tell her how much she means to me.

"Naa.." I heard her mutter under her breath so I moved closer thinking she was awake,

"Naa... Nazeer" she muttered again,

"Oh Allah, she still calls his name in her sleep, even after all this while" I murmured as jealousy and anger filled my heart but I still couldn't let go of her hands.