Afraid To Fall In Love

Twinning

Its been a while since Mamie and I had a good conversation, I haven't been to her room in a while, all I see is the pain I have caused her and the disappointment in her eyes, so I decided I would make it better today in shaa Allah, I could barely concentrate on my work, so I decided to leave early from work.

As soon as the door opened I spotted a car the same model as mine only that it was white and mine black, I figured maybe someone came to visit, but it was a wrong time for me, because I would have to wait until the guests were gone to get Mamie's attention.

I could hear their laughter from where I stood waiting for the door to be opened, at this point I wished I had gone through the back so I don't have to say hi to anyone I really wasn't in the mood to exchange pleasantries. The door was finally open and there weren't new faces . they all sat and laughed together like a big happy family only then I wasn't part of the fun.

Her veil had fallen loose as she thew her head backwards laughing so hard to God knows what, her hair was tied perfectly into a ponytail, I have seen her messy hair through her hood or Hijab but I have never imagined it was this long, and how perfect she looked when she laughed so hard, but as soon as she caught sight of me everything went away, and suddenly a pool of hatred lay underneath her brown eyes.

"Yaya you are back so soon" Zarah yelled  waving from where she stood with her mouth covered in glaze from the doughnut in her hand.

I smiled at her as I walked towards them finding a nice spot on the rug close to Mamie,

"What's the occasion?" I asked trying to remember if i had forgotten about someone's birthday or some sort of anniversary,

"Nothing special we just wanted to have a good time to ease off all the tension, I would want more than anything for my family to be happy again" Mamie spoke reaching for a muffin.

"Haba Mamie don't say its nothing special, didn't you see the brand new Mercedes outside" Nasreen turned to look at me.

"Oh yh I thought maybe we have people over" I smiled

"Oh no, its Minal's wedding gift from Abbah" Nasreen cheered.

I turned to look at her but her attention was far from where she sat, I wondered what was going on in her mind, what is Abbah trying to do getting her a car exactly like mine.

"Aren't you going to congratulate her?" Amani asked pulling me from my train of thoughts

I quickly smiled and mumbled a congratulations barely audible, but Mamie interrupted before she could reply,

"I think its time for Minal to resume work, after all its been three weeks since the wedding, but I would like it if you both went together" she smiled.

"What is the new car meant for?" I asked immediately,

"Do you have a problem with what I have just said?" Mamie turned giving me a deadly glare,

"No, nothing like that, err I am just asking" I replied

"Well then that is how I want it" she ordered,

" okay fine, but just let her know that I won't wait for her not even for a minute" I groaned.

"And if you stress her you would have me to answer to" Mamie gave me a Pat on my back jokingly, but I was so glad she did at least our relationship is getting better the only problem is Mamie's love for Minal.

Minal

These past events have eased my mind a little, I barely remember that I am married, not to mentioned the gift from Abbah, although I feel so bad about the fact that the marriage will soon come to an end, and the fact that Mamie showers so much love on me that it makes it hard to example how much I don't want to be married to her son, I am trying as much as possible not to hurt her feelings.

I couldn't go back to sleep after subhi so I decided to start getting ready for work, I took a shower and went to my closet to pick out something to wear for the office, I even had time to make tuna sandwiches for lunch because working for Mahmud means giving up lunch breaks.

As soon as I was ready I went out to the gazebo to take my coffee while I wait for Ya Mahmud, knowing very well he leaves at exactly 8:30 in the morning. Today was different, he was out earlier than usual probably trying to leave without me, I quickly stepped out handing over the empty cup to the maid trailing behind Mahmud with his blazer and briefcase. I got into the passengers seat without a word, it sure felt awkward so I mumbled "morning" and turned my face to the window. He didn't answer just as I had anticipated, he hasn't spoken a word to me not since the incident, and I was getting impatient , I needed to know when he is planning on divorcing me even though I haven't heard from Nazeer  I still haven't given up on him or our love, and if at all anything has happened to my Nazeer I still wouldn't stay with Mahmud.

"Err ya Mahmud, when will this marriage of ours be over" I managed to say while avoiding eye contact but I could feel his gaze,He was quite, making me feel uneasy. As soon as he pulled over I tried to get out of the car but he locked the car grabbing my wrist almost cutting my blood circulation. I screamed trying to let him know he was hurting me.

"Stop it Mahmud, you are hurting me" I kept screaming until I was released from his grip.

" you want a divorce right?" He asked giving me his wicked smile which reminded me of when he bullied me as a child,

"Yes, more than anything in the world, I want to be free of this bondage, I would rather die than stay married to you, mugu kawai" I shout

"You have all it takes to release yourself of this marriage" he replied calmly

"What do you mean" I sat there trying to figure out what he meant by his statement.

"Yes , you just need to let my parents know that you don't want this marriage, that's the only way we can be free of each other...of my torture. He said as he unlocked the door. I got out of the car in a hurry so I wouldn't have to put up with him, I went straight to my office,where my colleges welcomed me with open arms.

I sat in my chair ready to work but I couldn't, I kept thinking of how I would tell Mamie and Abbah I want a divorce from their son after all they did for me, not after all the love they have shown me not ever, I can't bring myself to do it but I would have to come up with a plan.

My phone began to ring bringing me back from my reverie , it was a number so I answered to find out who it was

" mind you, nobody here knows that we are married so do well to keep it to yourself, not even Amin" he hung the call immediately.