Slapshot

Chapter 33: He's Back, Boys!

It was hard to get through the day. It seemed like every moment was passing by so slowly, and classes were taking extra long today.

I obviously knew why, and it was because I was dreading tonight. I had promised myself that I'd go see Jonathan—I had to, and I was going to, and there was no way I'd back out.

I'd stay after school to watch the game, then I'd either go to his place, or to my house first and then his place. I didn't really know which yet.

I was trying to plan out how it'd go when I talked to him, but I didn't really know. I didn't know what to say to him. I didn't even know if I liked him back. I knew that I had a lot of some kind of feelings towards him, but I didn't know necessarily if they were love, or even like. I definitely didn't want to lead him on, and I also didn't want to have to let him down.

I wonder what I'd say. Hey. How's it going. I'm sorry I've caused you so much agony. I'm sorry that the reason you're depressed is my fault. I'm sorry about Maria, and I'm sorry about Braden, but I don't know how to make it up to you. Obviously not.

Maybe I could look to him to lead the conversation. I didn't even know if he would. What if he'd close the door at the mere sight of my face, just like I tried to do to him? What if he didn't even want to see me? I hadn't thought of that. I was kind of planning to go to his house uninvited, I don't know how he'd act.

Oh god. I don't know how I'd get through the rest of the day.

——

Jonathan's POV

"You ready?" Tom nudged me in the hallway.

"Always ready." I reply.

Truthfully, it had taken me a lot to get out of bed this morning. I didn't want to have to go to school, but the mere thought of getting to play hockey tonight kind of motivated me.

The final bell rang, and we all went to the change room to put on our gear. I hadn't realized that Braden had been kicked off the team, but Tom had told me quickly in passing through the hallways earlier today. I guess that had made me happy, but it also didn't really make me feel anything at all.

I hadn't really talked much today in school, just to Tom mostly. He was also sat beside me in the change room, and helped me brace the sight when Maria entered the room. I only looked at her a second, then my eyes teared themselves away, as if they couldn't even stand to look at her. She was a fucking cheater, and I hated her. That was that.

Coach came into the room when we were all dressed to let us know our lines. "Good to have you here." He had mumbled to me when he walked in. I nodded in thanks.

"We'll be starting with Tom, Merritt, and Cam up front." He said. Fucking Cameron. At least he wasn't Maria. I could feel her eyes on me right now. Fuck.

"Kate and Gunner in the back. Noah in net." Coach announced, then jumped into some play we had apparently practiced on Monday.

I wasn't listening. I couldn't stop staring at Cameron. I think I hated him. I hated myself for looking at him, because all he made me think of was Taylor. Thank god I didn't see her today. I don't know how I would've reacted if I had.