Falling Apart | k.th (Complete)

Sisters

  I remember that I need to call the lawyer of my mother to talk about the inheritance. Why am I so afraid to press call? Maybe because I am afraid of what he tells me about my mother.

  It was a quick call but he is only able to meet up in 3 days, so 3 days time to wander around my hometown. I take my laptop and go out to sit down by the lake I always visited with my mother. It is a small place of peace in the middle of this cruel world. I take a picture of me in front of the lake to send it to Tae, who is jealous that he is not with me.

   I sat there for hours, chatting with him and writing reports on my laptop. Maybe I should visit my mother’s grave? I would be able to finally say good-bye to her. I avoided this visit the past hours although it should have been the first thing to after waking up this morning. I really want to say good-bye but am I even fine with this? Saying good-bye means accepting the fact that she won’t come back and I don’t know if I am ready for this. ‘Should I visit the grave of my mother?’ I ask Tae. I need his support for this, I won’t be able to do this on my own.

  ‘I think you should visit it. Even if it is hard, you need to close this chapter of your life to be able to go on. If you need someone to talk to, you can call me. I am free now.’ He answers within seconds. Where is the hidden camera? I still cannot believe that he is really my boyfriend…. Or is he? We haven’t talked about this topic yet.

  I put my laptop back into my backpack so I can go the her grave.

  I never thought it would be this hard. Standing in front of her grave, reading her name on the tombstone. ‘Mila Lia’. I loved the way she rolled her tongue while saying her name. I always enjoyed it as I was young and every time she noticed it, she overacted to make me laugh. These are memories no one can take from me. Even if life took my mother away, it cannot take away the memories of her. No one will ever can.

  Thinking about the old days makes the look on my face jump from happiness to sadness and then back to joy. Tears are running down my face and I miss Tae right now, because he would wipe them away and comfort me. I really miss him. Should I give him a call? ‘Are you able to call me now?’ I text him and he immediately answers ‘In moments like this I will always take my time to be able to.’ A few seconds later his name pops up on my phone again, he is calling me. “I miss you, Jagiya. I… I am in front of her grave now.” I try to speak as clearly as I can but I can imagine how hard it is for him to understand me since I am crying while talking. “Reading her name on the tombstone hurts. She is gone for sure. I am not ready to accept this, Tae. I am not ready to completely delete the existence of her from my thoughts. I am not ready to accept the fact to never see her face again.”

  “Calm down, Syra. Everything will be alright. Someday, you will see her again. She will be waiting for you in a better place. Until you will meet her, I will be by your side. No one will be able to hurt you.” He is able to comfort me in a way no one else can. “Always.” He adds again. This word became a little promise of us. Every time the other one feels down, this word is the oath that we will always make it through this time together. “Thank you, Tae.” Whatever there is between me and Tae, it is something unique. I couldn’t survive losing him. “I love you.” He whispers. “I love you too, Jagiya. But I think I have to end this call now, I need a few more minutes to myself.”

  “Will you call me again after you arrived at home?”

  “I will.”

  “I miss you. Bye.”

  “I miss you too. Bye.” I say and hang up. I don’t deserve him. I just sit there for hours, looking at her name, as suddenly an unknown girl sits down next to me. “She was a nice woman. She left us too early. I only know her from the stories my father told me about her. I am Julia, by the way. I am your half-sister.” Did… did she just say that she is my half-sister? “I don’t have any siblings.”