Build-A-Boyfriend

27

"Yes. Ok. I'm going to tell her later. But... What if she's angry about it?"

As he says this he turns and his eyes catch mine. He almost drops the phone in shock and I immediately plaster an aching grin on my face, pushing the door wider. He ends his call quickly and greets me with a strained smile. With sudden clarity I realise that he's looked strained for a couple of weeks now. About the same time that the secretive phone calls started.

"I'm cooking beef chilli." He turns to stir the pot before pouring me a glass of red, sloshing it on the counter. There's a forced cheerfulness to his manner and he glances at me guiltily for a second.

"Sounds good." I give a weird booming laugh as if cooking beef chilli is worthy of a hearty belly laugh.

"By the time you're changed it'll be ready." Harry lowers his gaze to the pot. He's folded my jogging bottoms and vest top on the chair that I usually sit on, ready for me to change into straight away.

I grab them and weave my way across the room, ignoring the leering badger/killer whale on the wall and almost causing an avalanche of second hand books.

Once I'm in the bathroom I sit on the edge of the bathtub, taking deep breaths.

It's not like we're in a relationship, but somehow Harry's happiness matters more to me than anyone else's. I don't want him to feel trapped or sad or worried. Despite the way he was made, I want him to have free choices and not have to please me. Harry calls my name and I shake myself. I'll just have to hear him out and act on it calmly from there.

I pull on my causal clothes quickly and head back into the room. Harry smiles up at me as I enter. He balances a couple of slices of his homemade garlic bread on my pile of chilli and spaghetti before gesturing for me to join him at the table. I take a long sip of my wine and despite my worries, I can't help a grin when I see that Harry has poured his blackcurrant juice into a wine glass.

We sit opposite each other. Usually I eat like a vacuum cleaner inhaling dust, but today neither of us really bother. Harry gazes at the table as his long fingers tear apart his garlic bread, but he doesn't eat it, he just keeps shredding until it's barely more than garlicky breadcrumbs. I take a deep breath. "Harr-"

"Hen-"

We stare at each other for a moment before Harry continues. "Hendrix, I wanted to erm... Well. To talk to you actually."

"Ok." I realise I've been twirling my spaghetti for ages.

"The thing is, I'm not like the other Dream Factory guys... I'm different to them. I feel different."

"Right." I've been twirling my fork around the spaghetti for so long that I've practically drilled a hole through the plate.

"I don't get all this stuff. I'm not romantic like Juan, or really cool like Niall and Zayn, or really clever at all this stuff like Liam and Louis." He sighs.

I want to correct him on his character judgements but it's probably not the time.

"I've been asking the others for help but they don't really get me. I don't want to do something just because some mad doctor decided that I was going to before I was even born. I want to do what I want, I need to make my own choices. I sometimes wonder if Louis would have chosen Effy, or if Zayn would have picked Kathy if we had any choice in it. Sure, they seem happy.. But then they were created to just love that one person without any choice."

His lovely eyes meet mine and not for the first time, but certainly for the most powerful, I feel a hot rush of guilt at how he was created and the selfishness of it.

"I don't want to have that forced on me Hendrix." He says quietly.

"I understand." My throat feels like it's stuck.

"So, what I I want to know is if you would like to go on a date with me?"

I actually start in shock. He's looking at me and he seems nervous. His hands shake slightly as he toys with the stem of his glass.

"Um, what?" This isn't what I was expecting from his little speech.

"A date." He frowns at my confusion. "I don't mean the food, not dates that you eat. I mean a date where we-"

"I know what you mean, Harry." I say faintly.

"You don't have too." He says hastily.

"What was all that about having no choice and-"

"See that's it." He leans forwards and a strand of hair falls into his eyes. "We've been here for 6 months and I just know it Hendrix. No matter what, even if I had the choice of a million other people, I would choose you out of them all. You're my favourite person. Just because of who you are, you just want me to be me and you don't push me for anything. You just let me be whatever I want to be."

Dave starts scratching loudly in his litter tray and I resist the urge to throw something at him.

"We're different from the other Dream Factory people, we didn't jump straight into it like we were supposed to when I first came out of the pod, I thought you were going to expect me to be your boyfriend, but you didn't. You just let me do the things I wanted and you didn't expect me to act like anything but me." He glances at me, chewing his lip. "I've been so nervous, it's taken me weeks, a couple of months even to get the courage to ask you and I don't think I'm supposed to be like that...Maybe it's because I was faulty-"

"You're not faulty." I say firmly.

Dave is really scraping at his litter tray now, if he carries on like that he's going to dig a hole into the flat below.

The large badger/monster is leering at me from the migraine inducing walls and I notice suddenly that Harry has ordered a stack of framed pictures of me, looking very sweaty and unhealthy during the marathon.
Despite all this, there's nowhere I would rather be right now.

Harry is watching me anxiously.

"So..? You can say no, it's really fine. I don't mind-"

"Of course I will, Harry." I laugh, relived that he doesn't hate me and want to leave.
His entire face relaxes into a happy grin and he exhales heavily, leaning back and pushing his fingers through his hair.

It's a bit weird to be going on a first date after living together for 6 months but I prefer doing it this way, I'd hate for him to have been all up in my shít from day one, like Juan.

"So what have you got planned?" I grin, scooping the now cold food onto my fork.

"It's a bit special." He says shyly. "I've been planning it for ages."

I'm about to speak when the smell from Dave hits us and, gagging, we grab our plates and run.

****

AN-

I DONT WANT A LOT FOR CHRISTMAS... THERE IS JUST ONE THING I NEED... I DONT CARE ABOUT THE PRESENTS UNDERNEATH THE CHRISTMAS TREE...

Does someone want to buy me Harry Styles for Xmas?

Ok, what's the best Christmas song of all time? This has been the pre-Christmas argument in my family today. I went with Fairytale of New York by the Pogues, or All I want for Xmas is you, Mariah Carey.
The argument got pretty heated 😂 what's your choice?

Urgh I'm so excited. Seriously, I'm like a five year old at this time of year. It's my favourite.

I'll update soon, in the meantime, Merry Christmas ❤️😘

Dedicated to @LucyJoon thanks for reading ❤️❤️