Another point of view

Chapter 11

If asked seven years ago if he wanted to die he would probably said he didn't really care what will happen to him, but now... he had friends, the three best friends he could ever asked for. He had love, even though he hadn't had time to do much about it. He didn't want to leave all these, he didn't want to die.

But he knew he had to do it. James lay in the infirmary because of him, because of his body, and because of the wolf that was part of him even while not in his body. He couldn't let James die just because of his fear. If Remus won't return to his body James won't have any chance of recovering, but if he will, at least there will be a little chance they both will survive.

"Mr. Potter," Remus shook himself out of his thoughts when he heard Professor Slughorn calling him. It was during Potion class at the end of the week and Remus failed to concentrate again. "Please come and see me after class."

"Fine, Professor," he replied quietly. He didn't know what he'd done for Slughorn to want to see him, but he didn't care. No punishment or detention could change what was about to happen.

At the end of class Remus got up from his seat and approached the Professor's desk, picking for a moment at Sirius who hurried to get out of the room. Remus didn't need more than one guess to figure where he went.

"You wanted to see me, Professor?"

"Indeed, dear boy," said Slughorn. He sat in his chair behind the desk and instructed Remus to sit in front of him. Remus did as he was told. "No worries, you're not in trouble," he said when he saw Remus' worried expression, but he did not realize that was not the reason why Remus was so worried. "I wanted to inform you that the Potion is ready."

Remus gasped in surprise. He did not expect that. "It... it's ready?"

Slughorn nodded. "I passed it to Poppy this morning, so all you have to do is go to her and drink it."

Remus nodded and swallowed. "T-thank you, sir." He got up and turned to exit the room, hurrying in the direction of the infirmary. Although he'd thought he'll be relived to know James was going to be okay, his throat felt tight and his body was shaking. His time was over, he had to decide now what he was going to do, and this decision was going to change his life.

The first thing he saw when he entered the hospital wing was Sirius, who sat in his back to Remus next to James' bed. He stroked the tawny hair of the boy and with his other hand held James'.

"Remus, please..." Remus heard him whispering. His voice shook was full of despair. "Please, wake up. I need you. I don't know what to do without you, Moony." There was a short silence and then Sirius continued, unaware of Remus presence behind him. "You'll be okay, right? You have to be. You can't leave me like that, not after what I told you the last time we talked. I'm sorry about that. I wish I hadn't said all those things, I wish I could go back and tell you how much I love you. There are so many things I didn't tell you..."

Something cracked in Remus' brain at the sound of those words. What is that was the last time he would ever see Sirius? If he'll die now, Sirius would never know how much he loved him, and how he was the most important person in his life. He would never know how much Remus was thankful for everything Sirius had ever done for him; he hadn't abandon him when he'd found out about his furry little problem, he had always been there for him even in the hardest times, he'd always helped him during full moons and after.

If Remus won't tell him now, maybe he won't have a chance anymore. But as he was about to open his mouth and announce his presence, a new thought starched him.

What if when Sirius find out about the true identity of the one lying on the bed beside him, and won't let Remus drink the potion? It was the only way to save James, but Remus wasn't sure Sirius will see the things that way. He couldn't take the risk, he had to save James. It had all been his fault, and if he had an option of saving his friend, he would do it even if it cost him his own life.