Watching Her

Chapter 2 {A Matter Of Seconds}

"Why not?" 

She asks in a voice just barely above a whisper and words completely escape me as I stare down at the only true love I've ever known. She meant everything to me and she was the only one who I could call a stubborn ass on a daily basis and she still looked up at me with those big brown eyes and a jaw dropping smile to match. We understood that the bickering was out of love even if we never said it out loud. 

Ever since we were kids the bickering was just a natural part of our relationship. Most people would probably assume that the bickering started with me because I normally come off as a sarcastic jack ass but the truth is, Abby is the one that hated me from the start. 

Our parents have been the best of friends since before we were born so, naturally, we were forced together by the bond of our parents. I am four years older than Abby and was always referred to as the Abigail watcher to our parents. When her parents and my parents would go out at night, I would watch Abby. When I was a senior in high school and Abby started as a freshman the first thing my mother told me was to watch out for Abigail. It was just something I came accustomed to and when I was a teenager it was a fucking pain in the ass because who wants some whiny little fourteen year old hanging around you and your friends when you're eighteen, right? 

Things changed as the years went on though and more specifically; Abigail changed. She grew up and instead of whining to her mother when I'd say something insulting she would just dish it right back and instead of sitting home on Friday nights having me babysit her, she would sneak out with boys. I grew jealous with every guy that would attend Friday night dinners and with every date that would buy her a corsage and arrive precisely on time. That wasn't who I was. I was never going to be the guy that bought the corsage or arrived on time. I was the jerk who showed up late for dates and parents hated, but it didn't even matter because the one person I wanted more than any of the others was off limits. She was four years younger than me and both our fathers would have killed me.

I knew, standing here in front of her, that I officially had NOTHING to lose. If I said nothing, she was just going to walk out that door and carry on with her wedding that would no doubt end in divorce or I could grow a pair and tell her what I had been holding in for the past five years or longer. I chose the latter.

"...because I fucking love you and I can't bear the thought of seeing you with him or anyone for that matter! Because I've loved you ever since that night at Tristin's party when you told me to fuck off for putting my arm around you just so some other guy would get the hint and buzz off! Because you are the only person who has ever made my heart race like it is right now! Because we've known each other our whole lives and I still look at you like I did when I was eighteen, when I was wishing you were just a few years older so wanting to rip your clothes off didn't seem like such a crime! And because I...I don't know what else to say but I'm sure there's more...it's just...you're the only person who makes me at a loss for words." 

By now I was standing just inches from her face as my chest rose up and down from the power of my words. I couldn't believe all of these years, living with my feelings tied up in the back of my head and here they were, lying out in front of us like loose ends. I starred down at her waiting for some sort of response or expression. I could read her like a book and knew almost every one of her facial expressions from A to Z but all she was giving me now was pure shock. 

I needed to know how she felt, it was crucial to my very state of being and I wanted nothing more in this moment than to hear her say a different three words than earlier. I wanted nothing more than to hear her say that she loved me too and I wanted nothing more than to crash my lips into hers and rip off her clothes like I've wanted to do for years. She was eighteen now, nothing was keeping up apart. Her parents didn't have a say, hell, now even the law didn't have a say but the scary thing was...she still did. She had the power to make me the happiest I've been in my whole life or shatter my very existence in a matter of seconds.

The next thing I hear is the sound of her purse hitting the hardwood floor of my apartment as her hands fly to my face and her lips collide with mine.