Falling Apart | k.th (Complete)

Torn apart

  “So back to the topic.” Sejin says.
How will I be able to follow the conversation? “Don’t worry, Syra. I will translate everything to you.” Namjoon says, seems like he understands how lost I am.

They discuss a lot. Namjoon doesn’t translate a single word, he is too wrapped up in the conversation. It is somehow funny watching them and only being able to imagine what they are saying. It reminds me of those ‘Misheard Lyrics’ Videos I found last night. They are just too funny.

  20 minutes pass until Namjoon turns to me. “I think you know that you two caused a scandal. A big one to be honest. But Sejin just came up with the idea of telling the fans that you are a cousin. Also that means, if you two want to be together, you can never go public and need to be even more careful.” Did he just ask me if I am ok with telling the world that I am Tae’s cousin, when the truth is that I am, strange as it sounds, in love with him? “I cannot say this. I won’t be able to think if it is OK to kiss him every time before I do it.”

  “But we need an answer.”

  “The answer is no.” I insist.

  “Have you got any idea then?” Sejin asks annoyed.

  “I need time to think about it. I just woke up and this is a choice that will affect my whole life so you cannot expect me to answer this in the blink of an eye.” I say, maybe a way too uneasy. Sejin sighs. “There is no time left. The fans start spreading their theories about who you are. We need to make it clear to them as soon as possible.” Namjoon tries to explain, but I am just too overwhelmed to think straight. “I am not able to answer this now. I need time.”

  “But we want an answer now!” Sejin shouts at me hitting his fist on the table. Is he serious? Shouting at a girl that currently watches her life falling apart? I try to hold back my tears but it is just too hard. I cannot stand his sight anymore. Without thinking about what I am doing I rush out of the room, putting on my shoes and leave the dorm, slamming the door right behind me.

  I don’t know where I am going. I don’t even know where I am since I just followed Tae and Jungkook yesterday. It’s May, so it is sunny outside, but still cold. The sudden change of brightness makes me fall back against the door, but I am back on my feet again after a few seconds of instability.

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  I don’t know how far I already walked, but I reached a small river. The water sparkles like there were little stars in it, thanks to the sun. It is a little relieve after the down pulling situations of the past few hours. I am breathing in the clean air here. It makes me feel alive again, after I couldn’t feel anything but numbness after the phone call.

  The phone call. The stress caused by the picture of me and Taehyung nearly made me forget it. My mother is dead. I look at my phone with the intention to check the time, but the battery died and I forgot to charge it back at the dorm. Seems like I am lost now, lost in a city I don’t know.

  I take a few steps forward, closer to the river. The brawl of it calms me somehow down. I always felt an attraction to the nature. I never was that kind of person who liked living in a big city, I am a village child. I sit down and lay back in the grass by the river, watching the clouds flying high in the sky.

  ‘You are up there now.’ I think to myself. ‘I already miss you. You would know what to do now. You always did.’ My mother was my rescuer in many situations and she always had the perfect advice for how to solve a problem that seemed impossible to solve to me. She was that kind of mother you would read about in a book.

  I nearly doze off to sleep as I hear footsteps next to me. As I open my eyes, I see Tae standing right next to me. “I find you.” He says. “You did.” I answer. Did he just follow me all the way here? It already dawn again. “What is the time?”