Remembered

Chapter 1: Funeral

I never thought the reason we would be reunited was a funeral. I don't know if this was fate or God's idea, but whatever the reason I hated it. Jake died a week ago, from a drug overdose. I say this with no pity, whatsoever. His idiotic self put him into an endless pit of depression and instead of seeking help, he decided that drugs would end his pain. Which in the end did work, because now he's dead and I guess his pain is over.

As I was saying about Jake, he finally left my hospital room about a month after my bucket list was almost complete. His old friend, Mike, stopped by to pick him up to have a fun night. I thought I knew what he meant, but again I was wrong and that was the day Jake's life was starting to go downhill. Last week Jake got caught dealing drugs to high school students. He ran to his car and started speeding away, but there was one problem he was high and had absolutely no control over his body or the car. He  swerved into a ditch and twenty-three hours later he was announced dead.

When I found this out, I wasn't the least bit surprised. I had warned him what his life would become if he stayed on this path. But he merely shook his head and yelled, and I quote "What do you know about smart decsions? You've tried to commit suicide" His words didn't affect me, because when you hear insults your whole life you partially get used to it. At that point I knew that Jake was a lost cause, and if not careful was going to probably die and rot in hell.

I forced myself to write a speech about him, but I hope that my family doesn't expect kind words to be released from my lips. Because for a while he was nothing but a piece of dirt to me, and I will not respect him. But now because of Jake's poor choices, I'm being forced to stand awkwardly next to my mother, hugging people I don't even know. As soon as I saw my mom I tried to hide from her, but it didn't work. Her "motherly" senses kicked in and she magically found me. She gave me a hug and was acting like our relationship was perfect and we were a loving family. Bullshit! She hates me and as do I to her. But I didn't want to make a scene at a funeral, I kept my mouth shut and hugged her like I actually missed her.

The funeral is being held in a small room with about sixty chairs lined up in rows. Jake's casket is up front where the priest guy is going to say lies about Jake. I refuse to go anywhere near his stupid casket, because if I died he would've done that same to me.

"Hey Ali, how ya holdin' up?" Tori said walking up to me and hugging me.

"I'm fine" I answered bluntly.

"No, you can tell me if it hurts. I won't judge you" she said sweetly.

"Ok you want my feelings? Here we go. I don't feel any pain that Jake died. He was nothing but rude to me, and I don't pity him at all. He wanted his pain to be diminished and that's exactly what happened. Call me harsh but you wanted my feelings"

"Ali that's so-"

"Bitchy? Vindictive? Again you asked for my feelings and you said you wouldn't judge, so please go through with your statement and don't judge" I interrupted. Her face scrunched up and then it softened.

"I understand now, this is your way of dealing with pain." she said softly. She started walking away.

"You cant think that, but you can't deal with pain if there is none" I snapped back.

Yes, I understand that I'm cynical and loathsome, but that's what life does to you. It toughens you to the point where you can't cry any more tears, you feel no pain, love doesn't reach your heart, and you think the worst of everyone. Life sucks, but it makes you stronger and I'm thankful for that.

We were finally all told to sit down and the priest went to the podium in the front and it was my turn to zone out.

"Jake was an amazing individual taken over by the evil of the devil" the priest said.