FALLING HEART

37

When she put that into words my chest started hurting so bad I sagged further down into her knees and kept my head there.I couldn't even form any coherent thoughts together. I was rattled that much .No one could say it better that her.I had lost.The only one born for me.My chest constricted and I couldn't breath.The hollow-ness inside kept on expanding and the one who could fill it was so far that I won't be able to reach her anymore.I smiled sadly at my misery.At the irony of life.When she was near I pushed her away and now that she had left, I wanted nothing more than her to be near me.

I kept my thoughts to myself and Granna seemed to do the same.The room was filled with silence.And that silence kept on echoing the thoughts that were proving fucking difficult to swallow down.

After a while my panicked eyes found Granna again to continue what she wasn't telling me.It's better than quietude that was suffocating me. "Granna please tell me." The sane part of my brain pleaded with her.Not yet ready to disintegrate.

"You remember last year when I went away, to visit my ailing sister.That's not what it was all about.I went to pay a visit to Sabrina there as well."

I listened as each word from Granna shoved me further in the vortex that had me spinning in circles.

Sabrina the Pack Healer and Psychic. I had only heard about her from the whispered stories that regulated around now and again.She was famous for her future readings and once had been the pillar of strength for our pack.Helping us win the wars among the packs  that plagued us during that time. 

She had went into hiding after something happened that shook this place up.From the history of the pack I had come to learn.A terrible bloodshed had ensued the place which had resulted in the destruction of the whole pack.We had lost not only our livelihoods and households but also lives of many great warriors.One of them being my grandfather.The alpha Marcus Kranis. I wasn't aware of all the details.No one talked about it anymore. It was just the hushed versions I was acquainted with myself.It was forbidden to talk about that time.No one knew where Sabrina had disappeared to.But apparently Granna knew it all along.I wasn't fazed.There is nothing that she doesn't know about.

"The seed that was planted all those years ago had to be cut out.And I went there to find the cure that could help save lives this time around.Because I had this feeling that something more dreadful than last time is about to befall us ."

Granna kept on talking in riddles and I was too astonished and surprised at the turn of events that were coming into light after being buried for so long.

"I failed them last time and I wanted to amend that.So when this opportunity arose I couldn't let it go.I was surprised at first.Shocked that such a thing could be possible.That I would be able to right the wrongs I had done in this life itself.You have to understand Aeran. I never wanted to complicate things.I wanted to do what was best for everyone.What was best for my pack and for you."

I was not getting any nearer to the truth than I was earlier on.I wasn't able to understand Granna's truth.

"Granna I don't understand what you are talking about.You knew where Sabrina was all this time.?.?"

Granna closed her eyes and stayed silent for a while.And then continued in  small soft voice."I brought her here to feel good about myself Aeran. To know that I could be forgiven. But I didn't knew I'd fall in love with her as well in the process. I never knew she would be able to make a place this solid in my heart.That's when I knew for sure that if she could break into my heart then she will definitely be able to carve her place in yours as well.Oh how wrong I was."

A single tear escaped those closed eyes and I couldn't stay still any longer.I wiped that tear carefully,gently.But more tears took their place and I gave up the task.Giving her a moment to grieve.

"You don't understand it Aeran. The extent of what you have lost.And I hope the past doesn't repeats itself this time around."

I was more confused than ever.The world I had constructed around myself was falling apart and I was given the front row seats to watch it all happen.

"You must know what you have lost.Let me tell you all of it.The beginning of it all."